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An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir Paperback – 22 February 2010

by Alexander McCall Smith (Author)

4.7 470 ratings

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"This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending," writes Elizabeth McCracken in her powerful, inspiring memoir. A prize-winning, successful novelist in her 30s, McCracken was happy to be an itinerant writer and self-proclaimed spinster. But suddenly she fell in love, got married, and two years ago was living in a remote part of France, working on her novel, and waiting for the birth of her first child.

This book is about what happened next. In her ninth month of pregnancy, she learned that her baby boy had died. How do you deal with and recover from this kind of loss? Of course you don't -- but you go on. And if you have ever experienced loss or love someone who has, the company of this remarkable book will help you go on.

With humor and warmth and unfailing generosity, McCracken considers the nature of love and grief. She opens her heart and leaves all of ours the richer for it.

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Print length

208 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Back Bay Books
Publication date

22 February 2010
Dimensions

14 x 1.3 x 21 cm
ISBN-10

0316027669
ISBN-13

978-0316027663
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Product description

Review

"... Elizabeth McCracken does not howl out her loss. She is devastatingly calm and in this matches measure for measure her own fine writing. By the end of this memoir you will have held a beautiful child in your hands and you will have acknowledged him. This book is an extraordinary gift to us all."--Alice Sebold, author of The Lovely Bones and The Almost Moon

"... McCracken writes with such clarity and immediacy ...a writer who rises to the human complexity of grief with all her powers, and all her heart."--Mark Doty, author of Dog Years

"A fascinating, word-perfect and bittersweet memoir."--Elinor Lipman, Miami Herald

"Reading it is a mysteriously enlarging experience. It could pair neatly with Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking: it's hard to imagine two more rigorous, unsentimental guides to enduring the very bottom of the scale of human emotion."--Lev Grossman, Time

"Stunning...it is a triumph of her will and her writing that she has turned her tragedy into a literary gift."--PW (Starred Review)

"What an extraordinary book - joy and sorrow all mixed together on every page. Elizabeth McCracken is amazing."--Mameve Medwed, author of Of Men and Their Mothers

wildly important book."

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About the Author

Alexander McCall Smith is the author of over eighty books on a wide array of subjects, including the award-winning The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. He is also the author of the Isabel Dalhousienovels and the world's longest-running serial novel, 44 Scotland Street. His books have been translated into forty-six languages. Alexander McCall Smith is Professor Emeritus of Medical Law at the University of Edinburgh and holds honorary doctorates from thirteen universities.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Back Bay Books; Reprint edition (22 February 2010)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316027669
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316027663
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 14 x 1.3 x 21 cm

Best Sellers Rank: 30,137 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 163 in Self-Help for Grief & Bereavement
- 179 in Biographies of Novelists
- 562 in Biographies of Women (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.7 470 ratings

About the author

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Elizabeth McCracken

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Author of three novels (The Giant's House, Niagara Falls All Over Again, Bowlaway, and The Hero of the Story); three collections of short stories (Here's Your Hat What's Your Hurry, Thunderstruck & Other Stories, and The Souvenir Museum); and one memoir (An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination).

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4.7 out of 5

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Diane Robicheau

The cathartic release you seek

Reviewed in Canada on 13 March 2021

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I have suffered two second trimester baby losses and this book certainly made me feel less alone. Elizabeth’s retelling of the death of her son and experience with stillbirth is raw, vulnerable and relatable. I recommend this book to anyone going through this, or to anyone wanting to understand what loosing a child during pregnancy is like.

Jennifer Rouhana

A treasure for the bereaved mom expecting a new baby

Reviewed in the United States on 17 December 2014

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It seems like most of the 4 star reviews are written by people who have not lost a baby themselves.

My experience is not exactly the same as the author's, but so many of the sentiments she expresses convey what I have been feeling since my daughter died, but did not have the talent to put into so many words.

I bought this book, first because it is one (of many) that addresses a subject that has been so invasive in my life since last year. I purchased it along with a few others of the same general content. This one stands out by far.

The second reason I chose this particular book among the handful is because of the title, which is obviously important or it wouldn't be the title. Not many other reviews have mentioned it. I had been feeling like I was imagining things... like my loss had been imagined, like the pregnancy had been imagined. Not really... I knew they had happened, but there are moments when I felt so out-of-place after our loss that I imagined I was about to wake up at any moment or that perhaps I had wandered mistakenly into a parallel-universe and the real me was still back in the real world, having a real, live baby. The image of Gweneth Paltrow in that movie Sliding Doors kept popping into my mind. At some point, at some singular moment, something happened, and one life kept going as expected while some other, wrong life, my life, ricocheted off in the wrong direction. This concept has had a strong pull on me and I am relieved to see someone write her story of baby loss that includes this perspective. Elizabeth's writing is descriptive in a way that gifts the bereaved reader with the words to say what she otherwise hadn't yet found the words to say. The writing is not exactly linear, which to me makes perfect sense because grief is not linear. There is each stage in it's prescribed order and then there is revisiting of each stage in a different order or in conjunction with another stage and this goes on forever as far as I can tell.

Now on my 3rd pregnancy, following the 2nd that resulted in a beautiful but stillborn daughter, I nod my head along with the author as she explains how she could not do anything the same as the last pregnancy and writes about how she felt and acted while bringing a subsequent child into the world following the "calamity" of losing her first son.

Outside of the story of pregnancy, loss and having a subsequent child, I found that reading about her life abroad with her husband was really enjoyable. I find pleasure in both Ms. McCracken's lifestyle and writing style. In the end, I don't just feel like I read a book about a woman whose baby died, I feel like I have made a friend. I may not be able to call her up and talk about the distress I'm having here during my third pregnancy, but like so many other "friends" I have made in the characters of my favorite books, I can read this one over and over again (it is a less-than-one-day read) and find comfort in the pages where she recounts the far-too- relatable thoughts and emotions I only wish all my real-life friends and family could understand about delivering a stillborn baby and about bringing a new baby into the world after that. She lost a baby years before me and wanted a book unlike the others already out there. I lost a baby years after she did and wanted a book like the one she wrote. I am so grateful to have found it.

74 people found this helpful

P. Blunsden

Wonderful. Should be recommended for reading by all those who lose a child

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 7 June 2016

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Who would have thought that a book on the loss of a baby could be such an enjoyable read, though enjoyable is not the right word. The author takes us through devastating sadness and leaves us with such happiness. Her writing makes you keep on wanting to read the next page, knowing that it might contain something heartbreaking but might contain something uplifting instead. A well written book from beginning to end. I'm glad I read it and highly recommend it.

One person found this helpful

Tara

a must read if you know someone who's lost a child

Reviewed in Canada on 11 August 2014

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A heartbreaking story beautifully written. I am grateful Ms McCracken took the time to share her story. If you've lost a child or know someone who has, this book is recommended.

Jennifer L. Bradbury

A poignant account of grief

Reviewed in the United States on 12 April 2013

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Next to fiction, memoir is my favorite kind of book. My love for memoir attracted me to Elizabeth McCracken's An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, a book she calls the "happiest story in the world with the saddest ending".

Indeed, it was. This book tells the story of Elizabeth's first and second pregnancies, only one of which resulted in a living child. The other, her first pregnancy, ended with the birth of her stillborn son, Pudding.

Elizabeth tells her story with authenticity and a surprising amount of humor that had me crying in one moment and laughing the next (In fact, I still laugh every time I think of the "Dwarfs of Grief"). To be clear, this does not mean that she in anyway trivializes the pain of losing someone or that she's somehow being disrespectful to those who have suffered this plight. Instead, the opposite is true. Her honest account of her pregnancy and the pain of giving birth to a stillborn child draws the reader in, while her dry wit gives even those who are themselves grieving permission to laugh, if only for a moment.

Elizabeth's account of people's responses to the death of her child also offers all those who have ever wondered how to comfort their friends a vivid lesson on how to grieve with others. In her words, "I am trying to remember what I have thought... All those times I didn't mention some great sadness upon seeing someone for the first time. Did I really think that by not saying words of consolation aloud, I was doing people a favor? As though to mention sadness I was 'reminding' them of the terrible thing? As though the grieving have forgotten their grief?" Elsewhere, she writes, "'I don't know what to say,' people wrote, or 'Words fail'. What amazed me about all the notes I got was how people did know what to say, how words didn't fail... To know that other people were sad made Pudding more real."

Without a doubt, An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination is good storytelling. It's well-written, but beyond that, it's the kind of writing that makes the reader feel both Elizabeth's joy and pain and join her in wrestling with some of the most profound questions of life.

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