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What's in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life Paperback – January 1, 2016

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 416 ratings

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Imagine for a moment that you had no pressures in your life―no problems to fix, no deadlines to meet, no struggles to overcome. Do you feel that sense of spacious relief? It’s not an illusion, teaches Mary O’Malley. It really is possible to live with that profound openness all the time, even while tending to your everyday tasks and obligations. In What’s in the Way Is the Way, Mary offers practical guidance for meeting all of your experience with an abiding sense of ease, trust, and peace of mind.
 
This accessible book is divided into ten phases, featuring inspiring wisdom and step-by-step exercises to heal the core beliefs that keep you stuck. With each chapter, Mary invites you to come into the present and see yourself and your circumstances in a different way―unclouded by preconceptions, struggle, or fear. Join her on this illuminating journey to discover:
 
• How fear controls our lives―untangling the conditioning that keeps us from trusting our complete experience
• The healing power of curiosity―a natural way to meet our lives without needing to change or judge anything
• Trusting what happens even when we feel threatened, ashamed, or afraid
• Why we become more active, engaged, and effective when we stop “doing” life and start being fully present for our lives
• Remembering exercises―simple, powerful practices for reconnecting with our natural state of curiosity, trust and love
 
“No object, person, or experience will ever bring you the deep and lasting peace that comes from simply being
open to life,” writes Mary. With What’s in the Way Is the Way, this renowned teacher brings you a powerful guide for turning your obstacles into your greatest allies and teachers―and showing up for your life with all your vulnerability, passion, and magnificent perfection. 

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Awakening is powerful medicine. A book to live with, learn from, and treasure.” ―Christiane Northrup, MD, Ob/Gyn physician and author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

“These teachings open you to mystery; they bring freedom, joy, and ease.” ―Jack Kornfield, founder of Spirit Rock Meditation Center and author of A Path With Heart

“Buddha said you could look the whole world over and never find anyone more deserving of love than yourself. Mary O’Malley awakens us again and again to the startling wonder of what lies beyond our workable hindrances, the liberation of our luminous nature.” ―Stephen Levine, author of A Year to Live

“This is the most no-nonsense, grounded, accessible spirituality you will ever come across. I love Mary’s teachings. They are simple and practical yet awesomely profound, and offer hope to those in even the darkest places. Her message is medicine for the world.” ―Jeff Foster, author of The Deepest Acceptance

“This beautiful book is filled with heart wisdom. Mary O’Malley’s teachings are simple, deep, and profoundly transforming . . . they will guide you in letting go and trusting life.” ―Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance

“Down-to-earth and joyful! Mary’s words offer a healing path for all who wish to travel away from self-limiting views toward freedom of heart.” ―Sharon Salzberg, cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society and author of Real Happiness

“Reading a book is one thing. Being joyously changed while reading it, right there, on the spot . . . is another. Mary O’Malley does that, repeatedly, and with élan and deep wisdom. She glides you into a consciousness that is alert, realistic, and transformative. Her teaching is direct and full of felt life, quietly guiding you away from disturbing emotions and drifting thoughts of oppression. Her gift to the reader is immeasurable because it is so present and full of the eternal presence.” ―David Silver, TV director/writer and cofounder of Mindpod Network

“Mary’s book is a laser-like guide for people of all stages in life treading the path of self-inquiry. In plain-spoken words, Mary gives the reader a challenge to change our perspective from ego-based to soul from which we can transform fear into love.” ―Raghu Markus, executive director of Love Serve Remember Foundation and cofounder of Mindpod Network

“I love Mary’s style. It’s obvious that her words come from an honest heart―one that has known both rapture and heartbreak. Mary has learned to live in a way that’s open to life. This book shares in a very clear and concise way how you too can learn to use what’s in the way as the way to your own personal freedom.” ―Chris Grosso, author of Indie Spiritualist and Everything Mind

“It is a sincere relief to read a book that so clearly demystifies the precise things which I have been working on lately. With What’s in the Way Is the Way, Mary O’Malley has scripted a pathway through confusion into the light of our own consciousness. It is chock full of signposts and refuses to allow you to remain lost. This is a book that everyone should read, particularly those whose lives have been touched by addiction (and that is everyone).” ―Tommy Rosen, author of Recovery 2.0

“Mary’s work is fantastic and so important in helping people on the path to both personal freedom and more wisdom on the planet. Mary’s new book brings a vital focus to the intelligence of the heart, to the power of breath and to the awakening of the human spirit.” ―Grant Soosalu, author of Avoiding the Enemies to HAPPINESS and mBraining

“The title of Mary O’Malley’s book, What’s in the Way Is the Way, says it all. It’s a mantra we can repeat. By opening her book to any page, we are reminded of our ‘cloud banks of struggle’ and how we can gracefully move out of the struggle and the confines of our limited perceptions. It’s a book to take wherever you go.” ―Andrea Adler, author of The Science of Spiritual Marketing and Pushing Upward

“In reading the book and doing the work, I felt as though a thousand pieces became a workable and digestible whole. It is brilliant in its simplicity and unparalleled in its ability to touch that soft spot we all have, the one that says me and my life matter, and we are in this together and not alone.” ―Lorraine Hurley, MD, host of Uncommon Awareness on Dreamvisions 7 Radio Network

“Mary once again offers a gentle clarity that invites us to embrace ourselves and our circumstances, our experiences and our dreams. She invites us to undertake this journey not with willfulness, but willingness. Mary is truly a treasure, the pearl of great and rare value.” ―Jeff Renner, chief meteorologist, KING 5 News in Seattle

“Humans today are being asked to make a profound leap in consciousness. We are the first generation in 200,000 years to know that the universe is not just a space filled with various objects, but is in fact an ongoing creative process. No longer can we think of ourselves as separate individuals trapped in a tiny world. We are in fact a wave of creative energy that has been traveling for 14 billion years. With her new book, What’s in the Way Is the Way, Mary O’Malley has created a process where each of us can enter into this deep truth of ourselves. By following her lead―by learning to dwell in our deep nature as a daily practice―we come to feel that joy of astonishment that accompanies every great awakening of love.” ―Brian Thomas Swimme, California Institute of Integral Studies

“This book is a powerful resource for anyone seeking peace, well-being, and freedom from internal struggle.” ―Jon Gabriel, author and founder of The Gabriel Method, A Mind-Body Approach to Weight Loss

“Mary O’Malley has developed a wonderful process to let go of struggle and become more fully alive. She teaches us to use compassionate curiosity to bring insight to the healing of whatever is getting in our way.” ―Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason and Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

“I love the title of Mary’s book, What’s in the Way Is the Way; it says it all. Her wisdom about gentleness and compassion, especially with ourselves, is so essential to take in. We all have a contribution to make to the evolution of peace and healing for our world and―as so many great teachers have said―it needs to start with ourselves. Mary O’Malley offers a timeless teaching. Now, may we each live it to the best of our ability.” ―Richard Moss, author of The Mandala of Being and Inside-Out Healing

“Mary O’Malley’s amazing book is testimony that our most trying challenges bear with them the seeds of our most inspiring triumphs!” ―Al Cole, CBS radio host of the nationally syndicated talk show People of Distinction, and author of The Spirit of Romance

“I am just in awe of Mary’s work. Mary transforms our everyday challenges into something sacred. Her insights into what it means to be truly human touched my heart so deeply. I think Mary O’Malley is the freshest voice of truth out there today.” ―Ann Louise Gittleman, PhD, health expert and author of The Fat Flush Plan

“Mary offers a graceful and skillful communication, a quality of responsiveness that is seasoned and not commonly seen.” ―Jerry Katz, founder of www.nonduality.com and host of Nonduality Talk Radio

“Out of the plentiful garden of books out there on spirituality that get too heady or are not experiential enough to really help people, this rare gem is different. I love how Mary adds just the right combination of explanation and instruction.” ―Scott Kiloby, author and founder of The Kiloby Center for Recovery

“A gentle, loving guide to a happier and more peaceful life. Everyone can benefit from the wise words in this book.” ―Joseph Goldstein, author of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening

“Mary O’Malley’s book shares meaningful information and wisdom. I know from my experience that she speaks the truth, and her guidance can make a significant difference in how we manage our journey through life.” ―Bernie Siegel, MD, author of 365 Prescriptions for the Soul and The Art of Healing

“I consider Mary O’Malley to be one of the most extraordinary teachers of our time. No one is more adept at showing us how to turn life’s most difficult moments into life’s greatest gifts. Her deep compassion, uncommon awareness, and crystal-clear insight make anything she writes a treasure.” ―Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God

“In a world where we are pathologically encouraged to dismiss aspects of our authentic experience, this book is deeply welcome. With beautiful hearticulation, Mary O’Malley invites us to give voice to that which has been buried, illuminating pathways for transformation that are desperately needed in this mad world. An invitation to presence. An invitation to inclusivity. The wholly holy. This book comforts me.” ―Jeff Brown, author of Soulshaping and Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground

“I loved Mary’s message―for me, born with an overdose of curiosity, it gives new meaning and usefulness to the word!” ―Elisabet Sahtouris, PhD, evolutionary biologist and futurist

“Mary O’Malley is a genuine master, a sensible, plain-speaking exemplar of spiritual awakening and illuminated guidance. Every word in this book rings true. I loved it.” ―Mark Matousek, author of Sex Death Enlightenment and When You’re Falling, Dive

About the Author

Mary O’Malley is an author, counselor, and acknowledged leader in the field of awakening. Through her writing and teaching, she empowers people to work with the difficulties of life in a way that enhances their capacity for joy. For more, visit maryomalley.com.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Sounds True (January 1, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 264 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1622035240
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1622035243
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.95 x 0.7 x 8.95 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 416 ratings

About the author

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Mary O'Malley
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Mary O'Malley is a speaker, an author, and a counselor in private practice in Kirkland, Washington. Her work focuses on curiosity, compassion, trust, and the ability to be with whatever is showing up in our lives in a spacious and attentive way. In the early 1970's, she experienced an awakening where she saw through the struggles of the mind, making contact with the joy and the wonder of being fully awake to Life. Since then she has dedicated her life to inviting others into the healing and the creativity that come from being fully present for Life. Through her organization, Awakening, she has evolved a transformational approach to working with everything that keeps us from being present for our lives. She is the author of "Belonging to Life: The Journey of Awakening," "The Gift of Our Compulsions: a Revolutionary Approach to Self Acceptance and Healing," "The Magical Forest of Awakening," and "What's In the Way IS the Way." In addition, she has 8 audio presentations and one video presentation, all of which are available through her website, www.maryomalley.com

Mary has taught extensively since the early 1980's, speaking, leading retreats, doing individual counseling and offering ongoing groups where people can come together to experience the miracle of awakening. Her strengths lie in her ability to be fully present in the moment, integrating information, technique and insight with simplicity and compassion.

Eckhart Tolle says about Mary, "Thank you Mary for your contribution to the evolution of human consciousness."

Neale Donald Walsch says about Mary, "For anyone who is ready to use the challenges of their lives as doorways into the peace and the joy they long for, I know of no one whose wisdom and advice offers more immediately useful help than Mary O'Malley. I recommend her books and her counsel unreservedly, for she knows how to discover the hidden treasures that are always in the ups and downs of our daily lives, and she knows how to see them with clarity, compassion, and deep insight."

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
416 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides insights and exercises to make the information real. They appreciate the author's clear writing style and everyday terms. The book is described as loving and hopeful, making life more peaceful.

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36 customers mention "Insight"36 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and helpful for personal growth. They appreciate the author's way of articulating complex human psychology, philosophies, and challenges. The book provides profound direction and motivation for those on a spiritual path.

"...offered is in such a format that I can easily recall and implement the lessons. Thank you Mary O'Malley." Read more

"...Easy to read with wonderful exercises to bring you into your meadow of joy and happiness - by letting life do its work and just reaping the benefit..." Read more

"...times, rehab several times for him, unnerving diagnosis...this book helped center me and made it possible for me not to fall apart...." Read more

"...This book is a gem. The exercises and information are worth more then what you pay...." Read more

12 customers mention "Clarity"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful and easy to read. They appreciate the author's direct experience and everyday language. The information is presented in a format that is easy to recall and implement. Readers also mention the book is real and practical.

"...The information /wisdom offered is in such a format that I can easily recall and implement the lessons. Thank you Mary O'Malley." Read more

"...Easy to read with wonderful exercises to bring you into your meadow of joy and happiness - by letting life do its work and just reaping the benefit..." Read more

"...I am ever so grateful. Easy to read, understand, and to the exercises throughout make for wonderful pacing. Try it, please." Read more

"...I've read so many of the self help authors it's gross, but this book is real and practical and changes you as you read it...." Read more

3 customers mention "Love"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book encouraging and loving. They say it helps them become more loving.

"...no matter what happens to you, you will change into the beautiful loving soul that you are, and everyone will see your light shining out and want to..." Read more

"...Very encouraging and loving." Read more

"...Clearly born from pure love and sincerity. So blessed to have found it and read it!" Read more

3 customers mention "Pacing"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and calming. They mention it makes life more peaceful and appreciate that without pain we can't appreciate peace.

"...Is easy to read, it’s true is calming and hopeful" Read more

"...or 3 times a day to about onc see everyou two weeks, and they are much less severe. I plan on reading this book again and practicing the exercises...." Read more

"...Without darkness we can't understand light. Without pain we can't appreciate peace...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2024
    I have read a plethora of both self-help and spiritual books. I got something from almost all of them, sometimes more, sometimes less. All too often though, I had trouble putting into practice the lessons offered and seemed to forget most of what I read after a short period. This book IS different. Although it seems cliche, it has truly changed my life. The information /wisdom offered is in such a format that I can easily recall and implement the lessons. Thank you Mary O'Malley.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2016
    This book is an amazing read. It covers everything you need to know to get the clouds out from around your head, and walk into the meadow of joy and happiness no matter what is happending in your life. Follow the instruction of letting life flow through me has freed me from all the upsets I am experiencing in my life now which have been the worse period in my life since I came on the planet. Law suits, personal attacks, being dumped by someone I was in love with, selling a house of 28 years, and moving into an apartment.

    The author does not give personal stories rather provides quotes from wonderfully wise people.

    Easy to read with wonderful exercises to bring you into your meadow of joy and happiness - by letting life do its work and just reaping the benefit of life's care taking of you.

    Also provides great information on how to see the spells that operate you everyday and how they are so wrong.

    Buy this book, and if you read it with an intention to change your life to one of happiness, joy, love, and forgiveness no matter what happens to you, you will change into the beautiful loving soul that you are, and everyone will see your light shining out and want to be with you and do what you are doing.
    32 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2024
    Husband in hospital several times, rehab several times for him, unnerving diagnosis...this book helped center me and made it possible for me not to fall apart. I am ever so grateful. Easy to read, understand, and to the exercises throughout make for wonderful pacing. Try it, please.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2016
    "What's in the way is the way" is a practical guide for removing what the author calls "spells" ( programming). The first few chapters for me were boring as I found it to be a lot repeated information from other books on self improvement. With that said if you are new to the self- help / self improvement genre those first chapters are useful.

    This book is a gem. The exercises and information are worth more then what you pay. The author urges the reader to recognize the "spells" they live in order to remove them and improve important aspects of our lives.

    I will be re- reading this book several times. If there's a audible version I don't suggest it, you want to do the exercises in the book and seeing the words on paper is priceless.
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2017
    Even though I didn't agree, wholeheartedly, on EVERY thing this author scripted (such as the earth/creation-of-man happening billions of years ago ...), It was VERY easy for me to merely overlook THOSE minor distractions. . . for the TONS of things which SO -- "TURNED ON THE LIGHTS" for me. . . carrying GREAT enlightenment to ME-- about MYSELF (my "blind spots"), about OTHER people that have been in, &/or about, me over MY ENTIRE LIFE! This book's writings just proved an INVALUABLE TOOL in my growth, maturity, dysfunctional &/or formative years &/or how our traumatic fears in our early childhoods (usually before age 6 yrs old) cause us to "run away from our hearts, & move up into our heads", etc. I definitely rate this book as a "5 star", because of what I've gained from it! (And I've been studying books & writings & thoughts on these subjects for DECADES, already, even.)
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2017
    I got this book when the sounds true lady emailed me and said I usually don't do this, but everyone get yourself this book; here's the first 40 pgs. There's something special in here. I've read so many of the self help authors it's gross, but this book is real and practical and changes you as you read it. I never felt like I needed to go back a chapter and re-read because I got it and have already transformed past that point. It gives you something you can physically do every second, which is live from a place that does not struggle so hard, and can still be there for you when it is super hard. Peace!
    17 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2016
    This is an amazing book for anyone on a spiritual path....it is all about how to understand the low grade struggle we all live with each and every day... how we cling to everything that makes us feel good and how we resist anything we don't like... instead of understanding that all of it is life.. and the only way to achieve true joy is to understand our struggle and to slowly open to life just as it is... right here, right now. I love this book and am currently doing her 10 week program with a small group of like minded people and we are all impressed by her insightful presentation.
    13 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2021
    Life is such a intelligent force that constantly has to prove it self to us our stubborn minds.
    Let life
    Let it be
    Let go
    Let it go
    Loved this book, I’ll have to read it again and again.
    Is easy to read, it’s true is calming and hopeful
    2 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • Renee Weber
    5.0 out of 5 stars So practical, down to earth and really helpful.
    Reviewed in Canada on July 31, 2021
    This book is awesome. It's my second time through it and I can see rereading it many times. Mary O'Malley really helps you understand how to know yourself and figure out how to be present in your life. I'm already looking for her other books.
  • TattooJack
    5.0 out of 5 stars Mary O'Malley is the Way
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 19, 2021
    What's in the way is the way, is the best self-hep book I have ever read. I have never read a self-help book twice, but this book is so good and practical, I will keep reading and rereading. Mary O'Malley is such an inspirational and creative approach to tackling the storyteller's we have in our minds. Storyteller's that stop us developing, living. This book is written by someone who has experienced the obstacles in life and come through the other side. I can't understand why this book is not up there with the best self-help books, because this book will make a positive, life changing difference to your life.
  • Miyuki
    5.0 out of 5 stars Profound and wise yet simple teachings
    Reviewed in Mexico on December 26, 2019
    This book impacted my life in such a profound way, this is the most wise yet simple book in the field of awakening that I have ever read.
    I could feel how my heart open more the more I read.

    I recommend it to anyone who is ready to take a step further in the path of awakening, not to change anything but to open up to life as it is and to allow growth and expansion from that place.

    Infinite thanks to Mary O'Malley.
  • Anthony
    5.0 out of 5 stars Essential Life Manual to Awakening
    Reviewed in Australia on April 3, 2023
    Game changing book. I always wondered about my negative thoughts and physical responses to issues that popped up in my life and how best to ‘unhook’ from them productively (thought blocking and drugs being my favourite strategies in the past). This book invites you to live from your heart and give attention to all parts of your being (both good and bad) with strategies and practices of love and acceptance so as to not have long term power over you, and to trust in the process and let life lead instead of your mind. Ultimately this facilitates your awakened state of being. I was literally crying at some sections of this amazing masterpiece, feeling like I had finally understood what was going on in my life and why it sometimes just wasn’t working out for me. I now appreciate the intelligence of life and to trust in going with life’s flow and how the best things that have ever happened to me have come out of left field when I wasn’t expecting it and that this has always and will always be the case. I love this book.
  • Tiberius Maczek
    5.0 out of 5 stars The absolute and inevitable truth
    Reviewed in Germany on November 2, 2016
    The words in this book speak directly to my heart in how true they somehow seem to be. See for yourself!