Amazon.com: Customer reviews: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Top positive review

Definitely worth reading to improve your relationship with your spouse.

Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2017

It is definitely a good book for couples and it has improved my relationship with my wife. If nothing else it shows you what things your partner is really looking for out of their spouse. I quickly found that my love language was "Acts of Service". Though it might not be sexy or macho to say that, it means more to me to have the dishes and laundry done when I come home after work or have minor home improvements taken care of before I get home. My wife and I have 2 small children and our house is hard to stay clean because every room feels like a mess. We do clean it all the time but it feels like a losing battle. My wife's love language is "Words of Affirmation". As you can tell from all these Amazon reviews I am much more of a writer than I am a talker. My wife is always looking for me to say how much I love and appreciate her because I don't say it often enough.

A big part of improving your relationship with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is to sticking with a date night to make sure you have quality time together. Especially if you have children or a high stress occupation. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and got stuck in the rut of an endless routine of doing everything we could for our kids, followed by daily chores and left little time for ourselves. Committing to 1 date night a week has really helped our relationship and improved our communication.

I recommend the book for sure and found it inspiring and worth reading. All couples can benefit from reading this book. The only downside is I wish it could have been a little longer. The stories from the author are interesting and I would have liked to have heard a bunch of his other examples of couples that he has dealt with. It was a short book and my wife and I finished it in 4 or 5 days and that was reading it slowly. The price is easily affordable. I found it best to photo copy the test quiz at the end instead of writing in the book so we can give the book to any family or friends who are struggling with their relationship.

1,005 people found this helpful

Top critical review

Critical reviews›

Nik Reiman

Some moderately interesting ideas, but nothing mind-blowing

Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2024

I came to find this book fairly "neutrally", having found it by a random Amazon search and not knowing anything about the book or its author until after I read it. I guess there is some criticism of the book over-simplifying relationships, and also taking a somewhat paternalistic view towards them (owing in part to the author's religious background).

I would say that this book provided a bit of "food for thought" in terms of how I see relationships, but wasn't anything mind-blowing or revolutionary. Most of the anecdotes from couples profiled in the book seems like they could have come straight out of the 1950's, which makes for some fairly tedious reading.

That said, it's an interesting read, but don't expect any miracles from it.

92,352 total ratings, 12,300 with reviews

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From the United States

Kelly Groce

Definitely worth reading to improve your relationship with your spouse.

Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2017

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1,005 people found this helpful

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Brandi Farris

Very informative and great advice to put into action

Reviewed in the United States on March 13, 2024

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An excellent read. Highly recommend. Practical examples given to be able to use and out into practice in understanding your love language as well as your spouses love language.

One person found this helpful

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andrew c.

Revelatory!

Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2024

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Each page is a revelation into what I and my spouse experience. This book is so easy to read and understand. Truly a blessing of a read.

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Stiller

Nothing matters unless you let it

Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2017

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I was once asked to read this book by the only person in the world I love.....I refused. At the time I figured it to be some shrinks opinion on how we should all be in our relationships....what the hell does he know I thought.....what if he is wrong and my future wife bases our whole future on just what he says.....I imagined this book to be some guy with opinions on how to fix problems that he knows nothing about because he doesn't know "us". It's not a good feeling as a man to agree to read a book on relationships because you feel like you're putting everything into the authors hands.....and what if he "doesn't understand" or what if the advice doesn't apply to us.....what if it makes things worse between us because he advises things we don't believe in.....no....I'm not reading that I told her.
I thought no matter what we would always figure each other out and we would be ok......I didn't see being asked to read this book , was a cry out from the woman I love hitting a boiling point and her attempt to communicate to me in a different way......the same things she's been trying to for a long time.....
Being close minded that day costed me so much regret and misery....I used to wake up to the most beautiful smile in the world and now I don't....I recently ended up reading this book and I couldn't put it down....sounds crazy but it's true. Instead of being some guys opinions or......typical shrink talk that in no way could apply to each specific relationship.......I found it to be a book that opens up the mind to the understanding of love.....and how it is not this one universal "language" we all feel we should be the same with.....I once told her...."nobody taught me how to love, I'm growing....learning".....I pleased with her to understand I love her.......we simply didn't have an understanding of how and why we didnt approach love the exact same way as each other.....only makes sense that it should be the same right? You bicker and argue and it drives you crazy......why doesn't she understand you think.......the book is not an excuse to use or justify a true bad relationship let me add.....but it truly answers so many questions.....it is really a language of love. Once understood, this book leaves you feeling like a fool and only wanting to apply so much of what you've now learned to your future together. It takes away the work of trying to understand the things that at the time make no sense.....and allows you to focus on what's important....loving instead of wasting precious time. Read it carefully and I recommend reading it together.....I didn't get that chance but I can guarantee reading this book with who you love will allow you both to stop frequently throughout the pages and talk,learn,smile, probably cry.....but then go on to a much happier fulfilling life together once the book is closed. It can save so much if you only let it.

*Update 12-1-17

I drive a bus so I have nothing but time to think as I look out the window and look up at the sky looking around me. You would probably think of screaming kids and noise but for me it is driving in my own little world and using time to think about life
I am a trainer so I spend my time trying to help people learn how to maintain their body and prevent problems. And the funny thing is that it is are very choices of what we do to our own bodies that I am teaching to have to change. All of our problems nutritionally and physically and even mentally come down too poor choice and repetitive habits that we know we need to change but never do until it's too late. Every single person reading this can relate to that
My point about what I do is that I spend a lot of time trying to fix my body because professionals out there either won't take the time to do it or I don't have the money to spend on who is needed. I have spent countless months doing stretches and exercises and what I have found is a lot of times I'm doing the exact same stretches and exercises that don't seem to be working. Soooo......why not do different ones then right...... what a lot of reasons it may feel good, you may not know any other stretches or exercises, you may simply believe that if I just do it one more time again tomorrow....THAT it will finally help..... you just believe in that stretch so much that in your mind you just say I'll keep trying. You are maybe even making things worse by this but you're honest to God intentions are to completely cure one of the biggest problems in your life, pain...... I think you see where I'm getting at.
Getting a little long for whoever is reading but there is a lot of meaning here that can help who knows thousands of people as long as this review remains online......
I will just end it like this..... last night I took a stretch that I have been doing for over 2 years and I changed it in a slightly different way....... a lot of the pain I normally get daily is gone.......
just to put a spotlight on that sentence .....I'm saying that what I had been doing for so long..... trying to cure one of the biggest problems in my life that hadnt been working............that I continued doing........ believing in and depending on.... to be my much needed answer.......It wasn't until I allowed the idea of the same stretch applied in a different way, that I ALLOWED life to be better for me.
I did not say this stretch doesn't matter anymore and say forget it to never exist again.....no, I used it to COMMUNICATE with my body in the same exact physical form....just different language from mind to body....because I always believed in it.

Belief can be amazing and help you....it also can be your own worst enemy when refuse to change your ways.....lots of time I lost believing my way instead of another.....all while would have given anything to accomplish my goal......once again I stood in my own way......but I didn't give up.....otherwise pain would still be here and I wouldn't have came on here to add all these thoughts.

You have to go into the book with an open mind because if you do it with the mindset of wanting it to say what it is that you want to hear.....then you can never let the life-changing words happen.......you're learning a language as you read...not what's right and wrong but what was being lost in life.

Keep in mind this is a book about the language of love so if you think about when you go to school to learn a different language...you are taking the difficult step of taking time there in order to understand.....be able to take what you understand and apply it.....and be able to communicate in a NEEDED way once you learn....AND THEN USE......communicate and UNDERSTAND eachother.
Just think how you feel when you meet somebody and you want to communicate but you can't and you get frustrated. you are trying to figure out what you want the other person to know and they're trying to tell or show you..... it becomes stressful and sometimes you end up walking away from each other never knowing the real meaning that was right there between the two of you. When you are able to speak the same language this simply does not happen.....
The same two people if we're able to learn the same language, could come back in front of one another again and.....just imagine......imagine the possibilities with that communication.......so much never lost again.
The exact same message and the exact same feelings that were always there, except now instead of the stress of not understanding, there is the excitement for anything to be possible just by coming together and understanding.....
The power of language is amazing........think of when you meet somebody and they're able to speak five or six different languages, you are in awe and wish you could do it.
well imagine being able to speak the one language in life that is the most unexplainable, powerful language and meaning of life, love....
I would also like to mention the fact that if these two people sat down and learn each other's languages together how helpful that is.....and how much easier it is to be able to learn how to communicate with the exact person that you're trying to ........spending time helping each other learn different languages.......TOGETHER.
Bus is parked.

1,923 people found this helpful

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Mr. Miller

Great Book and gift!

Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2024

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Great Book and very useful. Could be used for any relationship.....romantic, professional, friends, family, etc. Thumbs Up!

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Shane

Learning about my wife

Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2024

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Loved the fact that it was an easy read, showed very important relationship tools that will help me in the future.

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Amazon Customer

Great read

Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2024

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Great book, good information and data shared. Would recommend to anyone in a relationship

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Liz

Fantastic and insightful

Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2024

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This book makes it easy to understand the concept of the 5 love languages. It is an intertaining book that keeps you interested in his words. He tells you the concept of the love language then gives you a real world example of what hes talking about from his experence. He gives you examples of how to speak each of the love languages or how to learn to speak them.

2 people found this helpful

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KTaltos

Great information, definite religious overtones

Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2024

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I really like the message and the thoughts behind each of the 'languages'. The ideas were easy to digest in an almost "Huh. I should've seen that before now." kind of way.
I found the examples to be old world in a way that reinforce the older male/female gender roles which was disappointing. This may also be because the delivery also had religious undertones.
While I personally felt these detracted from my overall experience and in a few instances made me question more deeply the message being delivered I still feel the emotional intelligence contained in this book quite valuable.

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Christopher Eric Mullins

What is your love language?

Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2024

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Whether you use this book or another, learn to grow closer. Know yours and your partners love language and the reasoning behind those decisions.

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