While reading this book, I was constantly thinking of friends I wanted to share bits and pieces with. It brought to mind the pure fun of female friendships, along with the unpleasant aspects of ranking systems and status that sometimes lurk in the background (think "mean girls"), set in fashionable NYC locations. The author was honest and open, had clearly given her heart fully to a friendship that was never truly reciprocal, and does a good job telling her side of the story. At times it reminded me of listening to a friend talk about an abusive relationship, or one in which she was not nearly as important to the object of her affection as he was to her. It's basically the same story as one in which a smart, pretty high school girl who lacks confidence does homework for a handsome football player who feeds her crumbs of encouragement, then dumps her and takes the head cheerleader to the prom. Of course it's worse, because to complete the analogy, the couple would need to get drunk and cause a colossal car accident, flee the scene, then pin the wreck on the smart, pretty girl. So yeah, it's that kind of story, but all grown up. The author treats us to an inside look at working for Vogue, planning spectacular NYC events, and, later on, the machinations of the Trump transition team and Whitehouse interpersonal politics. Some reviews complain that she's bragging by listing her accomplishments and celebrity connections, but to me it seemed more like she was just defending herself. She wanted those who might judge her to know her qualifications for the job she held and money she was paid, hoping we would see that she has value. She did, at times, seem to get bogged down in the details of meetings and time tables and who talked to whom about what during the inauguration planning, but her pain at being erroneously portrayed in the media was so raw and evident, it's easy to understand, and forgive, her need to tell the whole story.
Many times it was hard to understand why she continued the "friendship" with Melania. She addresses this over and over, talking about her excitement about what they could accomplish together for children and our country, and fears that Melania was being treated unfairly by White House staff, other Trumps, and the press. Still, Melania's extreme selfishness and lack of interest in anyone's needs but her own were abundantly clear, and Stephanie allowed her own health, comfort, marriage and children to rest lower on her priority list than Melania's whims. If you've read Michael Cohen's book, Disloyal, you will recognize a similar pattern. Cohen was so enthralled by Donald Trump's aura that he committed horrible acts to remain in the inner circle, causing his wife and children considerable pain the whole time, and eventually costing him everything. A key difference is that Cohen admits he knew many of the things he was doing for Trump were despicable, yet his loyalty or need for approval overrode his conscience, whereas Stephanie truly believed she was working for the greater good, and protecting her friend. Melania comes across as a pale version of Donald Trump himself, and their marriage makes perfect sense. Both lack empathy, while abounding in entitlement and selfishness. Donald's need for power and constant attention amplify both his flaws and his talents, creating a cultish vortex, where he must control everyone and everything. Melania is content to let someone else drive, in fact she insists they do, as long as the vehicle is luxurious and the driver caters to her every whim and is grateful for the privilege. Hers is a quiet control, but it is absolute.
Overall, anyone who has ever been in a relationship where they were undervalued will likely find this book relatable and thought provoking, regardless of their politics. The voice is honest and the pain is raw. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and I wish the author well.
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I read it in one day.... fascinating insight
This is a very well written and engaging book. So many books have been written contemporaneously about the Trumps that it leaves almost nothing for historians to uncover in the future. The history is being written in real time - with lots of documentation and evidence.What's different about this one is that is one of the few books written about Trumpworld by a woman who was a close family friend for 14 years. Friend or not, she was expendable. As is everyone in Trumpworld. These people are about self preservation.What is poignant about this book is how the author, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, humanizes a First Lady who is a person few people know anything about. Ultimately their friendship and it's demise is like a Shakespearian tragedy. It *is* a tragedy on so many levels.What is sad to consider is how easily Melania Trump was willing to allow a friend to be thrown under the bus to preserve the Trump family. When Donald Trump is in a prison jumpsuit in a cell between Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby, Melania might need a friend or two, but I can't imagine who will be there. Not Stephanie.Ultimately, this is a book about politics, friendships and what it means to care about someone so much that you lose your own sense of self preservation. I highly recommend it. I learned a lot.
