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How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing Hardcover – April 26, 2022

by KC Davis LPC (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 6,862 ratings
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An NPR Best Book of 2022
USA TODAY Bestseller

This revolutionary approach to cleaning and organizing helps free you from feeling ashamed or overwhelmed by a messy home.

If you’re struggling to stay on top of your to-do list, you probably have a good reason: anxiety, fatigue, depression, ADHD, or lack of support. For therapist KC Davis, the birth of her second child triggered a stress-mess cycle. The more behind she felt, the less motivated she was to start. She didn’t fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. One life-changing realization restored her sanity—and the functionality of her home: You don’t work for your home; your home works for you.

In other words, messiness is not a moral failing. A new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame-based messaging that interpreted a pile of dirty laundry as “I can never keep up” and a chaotic kitchen as “I’m a bad mother.” Instead, she looked at unwashed clothes and thought, “I am alive,” and at stacks of dishes and thought, “I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row.”

Building on this foundation of self-compassion, KC devised the powerful practical approach that has exploded in popularity through her TikTok account, @domesticblisters. The secret is to simplify your to-do list and to find creative workarounds that accommodate your limited time and energy. In this book, you’ll learn exactly how to customize your cleaning strategy and rebuild your relationship with your home, including:

-How to see chores as kindnesses to your future self, not as a reflection of your worth
-How to start by setting priorities
-How to stagger tasks so you won’t procrastinate
-How to clean in quick bursts within your existing daily routine
-How to use creative shortcuts to transform a room from messy to functional

With KC’s help, your home will feel like a sanctuary again. It will become a place to rest, even when things aren’t finished. You will move with ease, and peace and calm will edge out guilt, self-criticism, and endless checklists. They have no place here.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    160 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    S&S/Simon Element
  4. Publication date
    April 26, 2022
  5. Dimensions
    5 x 0.6 x 7 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1668002841
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1668002841
  8. See all details
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Popular Highlights in this book
What are popular highlights?
Previous page
  1. Although it looks like a lot, there are actually only five things in any room: (1) trash, (2) dishes, (3) laundry, (4) things that have a place and are not in their place, and (5) things that do not have a place.
    Highlighted by 4,983 Kindle readers
  2. When I viewed getting my life together as a way for trying to atone for the sin of falling apart, I stayed stuck in a shame-fueled cycle of performance, perfectionism, and failure.
    Highlighted by 2,714 Kindle readers
  3. In addiction recovery, as in most of life, success depends not on having strong willpower, but in developing mental and emotional tools to help you experience the world differently.
    Highlighted by 2,433 Kindle readers
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From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

“…Davis’s work is honest and funny. But most notably, it is kind...She handles conversations around relationships, mental health, addiction, food, and body image with care and vulnerability.” -- Sarah Wheeler ― Romper

“The funny hacks Davis has come up with along the way to make her own life work better—veggies in the fridge door, a rack for dirty dishes as well as clean, a family closet to cut down on trips to put away clean clothes—are not meant as prescriptions, but as inspiration.” -- Rebecca Onion ― Slate

“Davis encourages her followers to see their chores not as moral obligations but rather as care tasks they deserve. As you get started, she suggests asking yourself, ‘How can I make my home serve me better?’” -- Jacqueline Pinedo ― Los Angeles Times

“How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing covers topics such as building momentum by cleaning in short bursts and calming rituals that can help you deal with feeling overwhelmed. Her solutions encourage people to let go of perfectionism and help those with mental or physical illness, or who are going through a hard time, have a healthier relationship with their homes.” -- Jura Koncius ― The Washington Post

"This is the kindest, gentlest guide to the Sisyphean tasks of cleaning, grooming and generally keeping oneself alive. Part pep talk, part guidebook, KC Davis’ tips are aloe vera for a burned-out brain." -- Lauren Migaki ― NPR.org

"An honest and compassionate exploration of the many traps that leave us feeling like we've failed, How to Keep House While Drowning is filled with hard-won advice that will change the way you view your space, your habits, and (most importantly) yourself." --Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy, authors of No Hard Feelings and Big Feelings

"How to Keep House While Drowning" acknowledges the less-frequently addressed challenges many people face that keep us from easily keeping up home care such as depression, ADHD, postpartum, or simply a lack of support. This short guide introduces six realistic principles from a professional counselor on how to approach home care without trying to conquer countless to-do lists.” – Business Insider

“We all struggle to balance the many demands on our time, energy and sanity from time to time. This short, easily-read volume has solid tips for coping... In the context of this book, making your housekeeping more manageable can enhance the functionality of your life.” – Jamie Gold, CKD, CAPS, MCCWC

“If keeping up with chores feels like a full-time job, licensed therapist and How to Keep House While Drowning author KC Davis has a subtle, but radical, approach to help you manage the demands of housekeeping... In fact, she says homes do not have to look like the cover of an interior design magazine to serve their function—so embrace the mess.” -Oprah Daily


“In her book, "How to Keep House While Drowning," Davis explains how to be gentle with yourself while also caring for yourself and your home in a way that works best for you. Her gentle approach to care tasks is what keeps people coming back. It’s the validation that we all need.” -Jacalyn Wetzel, Upworthy

About the Author

KC Davis is the bestselling author of How To Keep House While Drowning. A licensed therapist, she is the creator of the popular Struggle Care website and Instagram, and the Domestic Blisters TikTok, where she shares her revolutionary approach to self and home care for those dealing with mental health issues, physical illness, and hard seasons of life. Across platforms, KC has more than 1.5 million followers. KC has been featured in The Washington Post, Oprah Daily, Slate, Well + Good, Good Inside with Dr. Becky, Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, among dozens of other media. She recently launched the podcast, Struggle Care, which is available on every podcast platform. KC Davis lives in Houston with her husband and two daughters.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ S&S/Simon Element (April 26, 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 160 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1668002841
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1668002841
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.6 x 7 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 6,862 ratings

About the author

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KC Davis

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
6,862 global ratings
Life changing
5 Stars
Life changing
This book is incredible for the paradigm/mindset shift that it fosters and for the practical suggestions and exercises included. I can’t recommend this book enough! Especially if you are a parent with young kids, you/your partner has ADHD/depression/autism/mental/physical illnesses.
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Top reviews from the United States

jrlibrarian
5.0 out of 5 stars I felt seen
Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2024
Verified Purchase
I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles to stay on top of housework. More important than the tips was the mindset the book introduced to end shame spirals around care tasks: they are morally neutral. It was so freeing to view it that way.

I also genuinely felt seen and understood by the author. I cried my way through the introduction because it resonated so well. Very important book and a quick read, too.
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ShanaB
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm a "know it all" but...
Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2024
Verified Purchase
I learned a lot I must admit. I gained valuable knowledge and encouragement from this audio book. I just couldn't stop listening, now I'm going to listen again. And again. I enjoyed the voice talent, easy to understand, the way she delivers the message is like listening to someone you know.
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Karly
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing
Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2024
Verified Purchase
This book is incredible for the paradigm/mindset shift that it fosters and for the practical suggestions and exercises included. I can’t recommend this book enough! Especially if you are a parent with young kids, you/your partner has ADHD/depression/autism/mental/physical illnesses.
Customer image
Karly
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing
Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2024
This book is incredible for the paradigm/mindset shift that it fosters and for the practical suggestions and exercises included. I can’t recommend this book enough! Especially if you are a parent with young kids, you/your partner has ADHD/depression/autism/mental/physical illnesses.
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Candy
4.0 out of 5 stars Not what I expected
Reviewed in the United States on January 17, 2024
Verified Purchase
I thought this was for people who are drowning in their to-do list, and just struggling to find time to get everything done. Turns out this book is for those in poor mental health, struggling to find the motivation to do just brush their teeth and shower, much less keep house. I read the whole book, and I think it would be useful to such people. It just wasn't what I was expecting.
34 people found this helpful
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Katie
5.0 out of 5 stars Favorite read this year
Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2024
Verified Purchase
I loved this book! I highlighted all the things and marked the pages. I just ordered the workbook too. If you struggle with getting it together this book helps.
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C J Bailey
5.0 out of 5 stars I have recommended this to so many people
Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2024
Verified Purchase
Hilarious and effective. The author tackles so many issues relating to depression, neurodivergence and guilt, in a very heartfelt and entertaining way. I have changed my approach to housework as a result of this book. I am no longer drowning!
One person found this helpful
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Kim
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful examples for the apathetic or overwhelmed
Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2024
Verified Purchase
"I just can't" with life/home/work/everything. I have no 'reason' to struggle, but there is a reason. Lots of mental health reasons. Hearing the tip/validation that eating off paper plates is a WIN because at least you are eating and then the weight of dishes won't guilt or inconvenience you to skip meals. That to be a "good" person I don't have to be organized/put together/adulting like the 'normal' people in media.
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Hunter Adams
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed My Life
Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2024
Verified Purchase
I have recommended this book to every person in my life. As a person with Autism, ADHD, and OCD, I am a severe perfectionist who struggles with executive dysfunction. K.C. Davis' worldview and approach to self-help allowed me to dig myself out of a difficult and shame-filled period of my life. If you are a person, this book is for you. It's about so much more than cleaning. And, it's accessible! The book is clearly organized, provides literal explanations of all figurative examples, has plenty of extra materials, and addresses many different lifestyles and functioning levels. Read it, read it again, then read it to your best friend.
14 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Amazon Kunde
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book!
Reviewed in Germany on April 1, 2024
Verified Purchase
I really loved this book. Having ADHD myself I always struggled with taking care of me and my home. This book gave me different points of views and strategies that I've never heard of and gave me the grace to treat myself more kindly about it all as well.
It was a super easy and fast read as well, even though I didn't even use the fast version included. All in all I recommend it and will probably even buy it for my best friend!
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Sara Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully kind and actually helpful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 18, 2024
Verified Purchase
A very accessible book with careful consideration for neurodivergence and mental health conditions. Excellent simple advice to keep your house in order as best as you can during the most difficult times, but certainly applicable to anyone trying to simplify their approach to home care.
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B. B.
2.0 out of 5 stars Voor vrouwen geschreven
Reviewed in the Netherlands on January 21, 2024
Verified Purchase
Dit is duidelijk geschreven voor een vrouwelijk publiek. Als man haal je hier weinig uit. Om the illustreren wat ik bedoel volgt hier een citaat:

"The next time the [inner] bully starts talking and and the little self starts shrinking, you can call on your compasionate observer self. They say to the bully, "You are not being helpful and I need you to stop." And they turn to the little self and say, "I know you are in pain, and I know you feel like you are failing. But you aren't. It is not a moral failing to be untidy. Being unwell and struggling do not make you unworthy of kindness. You are going to be okay. I am here with you".

Need I say more? Het hele boek gaat zo door. De tijd die het kost om te lezen kan je beter besteden aan het opruimen.
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Mary T. Love
5.0 out of 5 stars The best I've ever come across
Reviewed in Canada on June 4, 2021
Verified Purchase
First off, I almost never write reviews. I don't even answer people's texts, when am I gonna be sitting around writing reviews? But I am doing it for this book in the hope that someone in a situation like mine sees it and is convinced to give this book a try. It's that important.

About me: chronic depression, anxiety, single parent. Recently diagnosed with ADHD and trying to sort that out, while still never having found an arrangement of therapies that gets me to mostly functional. If anything, as I get older I'm getting less able to cope with simple daily routines and every new thing lands like a sack of bricks that is too overwhelming to contemplate. I have read dozens of books, blogs, tried apps, made lists, anything to help me handle the basics in a way approximating something like a healthy neurotypical.

This book blew me away. It's short - almost a pamphlet. You won't get bogged down in the first chapter and leave it somewhere "meaning to get back to it." It's simple. You don't have to remember multiple acronyms or have lists and sublists and timers. It's exceptionally compassionate and inclusive - I loved the acknowledgement that "drowning" could be: life changes, overwork, new babies, mental illness, physical restrictions, neurodivergence, anything that affects your resources and functionality. There is a repetition of non-judgment that is soothing if you've spent a lifetime beating yourself up.

But most importantly: it was advice I've never seen before. How rare is that? Everyone has heard "start with one area" or "only touch something once" or any of the other tips that seem to help a lot of folks. This gave me a strategy I had not already thought of that helped me FOCUS and take care of progressive layers that would make me feel more comfortable and safe in my space at each step.

I am at risk of writing something longer than the book itself, so I'll stop.

TL;DR : If you've ever stared at the chaos and mess around you and just curled up and faced the wall for a cry, buy this book.
92 people found this helpful
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Diane
5.0 out of 5 stars Très intéressant
Reviewed in France on September 30, 2023
Verified Purchase
Livre rempli de précieux conseils. Lire ce livre m'a beaucoup aidé, notamment dans l'approche du rangement et du ménage et surtout m'a permis de déculpabiliser face à ma situation.
Ce livre donne des clés simples et réalisables quand on a l'impression qu'on ne va jamais arriver à ranger et nettoyer.
Je pense qu'il peut aussi être intéressant à lire par l'entourage d'une personne débordée par le rangement et ménage afin de mieux comprendre comment l'aider sans la faire culpabiliser.
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