About the Author
JOEY GREEN has authored more than 30 books and frequently appears on national television. He lives in Los Angeles.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Automobiles
AIR FRESHENERS
. Bounce. Place a sheet of Bounce in the sun visor of your car or under the seat, inside a seat pocket, behind a visor, or inside the glove compartment to freshen the air. . Dial Soap. To freshen the air in your car, place a wrapped bar of Dial Soap under the front seat.
BATTERY CORROSION
. Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. To clean corrosion from battery terminals, mix one-half cup Arm & Hammer Baking Soda and two cups warm water and use a clean, old toothbrush to scrub the terminals with the solution. . Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. To protect clean battery terminals from corrosion, coat the terminals with Vaseline Petroleum Jelly.
BUMPER STICKERS
. Conair 1875 Watt Hair Dryer and MasterCard. To remove a bumper sticker, aim a Conair 1875 Watt Hair Dryer at the sticker to melt the adhesive backing, and then use the edge of an old MasterCard to peel up the sticker. . Cutex Nail Polish Remover. To remove adhesive residue left behind by a peeled-off bumper sticker, saturate a cotton ball with Cutex Nail Polish Remover and rub the glue. . Star Olive Oil. Saturate the bumper sticker with Star Olive Oil, let sit for five minutes to give the oil time to dissolve the adhesive, and peel off.
CARPETS
. Heinz White Vinegar. To clean imbedded salt residue from carpeting, mix one cup Heinz White Vinegar and two cups water and scrub with the solution.
CHROME
. Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. To clean chrome, sprinkle Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on a damp rag and scrub. Rinse clean. . Bounce. After cleaning chrome, polish the metal with a clean, used sheet of Bounce. . Gold Medal Flour. To clean chrome, sprinkle Gold Medal Flour on a damp sponge, scrub, rinse clean, and dry. . Heinz White Vinegar. Saturate a sponge with Heinz White Vinegar and polish the chrome. . Murphy Oil Soap. To clean chrome, mix one teaspoon Murphy Oil Soap and two cups water in a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle. Spray the chrome with the solution and wipe with a soft, clean cloth. Rinse and dry. . ReaLemon. Saturate a soft, clean cloth with ReaLemon lemon juice and wipe the chrome clean. . Reynolds Wrap. To clean chrome, crumple up a sheet of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil into a ball, dampen with water, and rub the chrome until it sparkles. . WD-40. Spray WD-40 on a soft, clean cloth and rub the chrome until it shines like new. . Windex. Spray the chrome with Windex and rub with a soft, clean cloth.
DASHBOARDS
. Bounce. Shine the dashboard with a clean, used sheet of Bounce. The antistatic elements in Bounce will help repel dust from the dashboard.
DEODORIZING
. Lysol Disinfectant. Is your automobile air conditioner blowing air that smells like mold or mildew? With the car parked outside, the engine running, and the air conditioner cooling on normal speed, spray Lysol Disinfectant into the air intake vent (found outside your car above the front hood, just below the windshield). Hold the can about ten inches away from the vent and spray for ten seconds. The air conditioning system will suck in the disinfectant and deodorize the entire system in seconds, killing any mold or mildew in the system. Be sure to turn off the car engine when you're finished.
DOORS
. Pam Cooking Spray. To prevent car doors from freezing shut, spray the black rubber gasket around the frame of the door with Pam Cooking Spray. The vegetable oil simultaneously repels water and keeps the gaskets supple and clean.
FROST
. MasterCard. To clean frost off the inside of your car windshield, scrape it with a clean, old MasterCard.
HUBCAPS
. Cascade. To clean hubcaps, remove them from the tires, place them in the dish rack of your dishwasher, add Cascade in the soap receptacle dish, and run through the regular cycle. . Scrubbing Bubbles. To clean dirt and grime from a hubcap, spray the hubcap with Scrubbing Bubbles, let sit for fifteen seconds, and rinse clean with a garden hose.
ICE
. Glad Trash Bags. To avoid having to clean ice from the windshield of your parked car, cut open a Glad Trash Bag along the seams, open the car doors, place the open plastic across the windshield, tuck the ends inside each door, and close the doors. The ice will form on the plastic sheet instead of the windshield. Be sure to remove the plastic before driving away. . Morton Salt. To make cleaning ice off the windshield easier, rub Morton Salt on the ice, wait a few minutes, and then scrape. The salt melts the ice. Keep a canister of Morton Salt in your trunk.
INSECTS
. Dr Pepper. To clean insects off a car windshield, pour a can of Dr Pepper over the windshield and squeegee clean. . L'eggs Sheer Energy Panty Hose. To scrape dead bugs off the windshield, ball up a pair of L'eggs Sheer Energy Panty Hose, saturate it with water, and wipe down the windshield. The nylon is a mild abrasive that works wonders. . Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. To clean bugs from a car windshield, grille, and bumper, gently rub with a damp Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. . Pam Cooking Spray. To prevent dead insects from sticking to the hood and grille of your car, spray the front of your car with Pam Cooking Spray before making a long trip. A fine coat of cooking spray allows you to wash off the insects with ease.
LEATHER UPHOLSTERY
. Dove White Beauty Bar. To clean the leather interior of a car, rub a Dove White Beauty Bar across a mildly damp, soft cloth and rub the cloth on the leather. Wipe dry with a fresh damp cloth and buff dry with a dry towel. After the leather dries, treat it with a leather conditioner. (For more ways to clean leather, see page 281.)
LOCKS
. Glad Flexible Straws. To defrost a frozen lock on a car door, insert a Glad Flexible Straw into the slot and blow warm air through the straw.
MAPS
. Con-Tact Paper. Cover those important road maps with clean Con-Tact Paper. Trace your route with a dry-erase marker that you can wipe off after the trip.
ODORS
. Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. To help minimize the smell of cigarette or cigar smoke in a car, pour a layer of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda in the ashtray. Be sure to replace the baking soda once a month. If the upholstery and carpet smell like smoke, sprinkle Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on the upholstery and carpet, let sit for a few hours, and vacuum clean. Baking soda absorbs foul odors. . Bounce. To mask the smell of cigarette or cigar smoke in a car, place a sheet of Bounce under the seat, behind a visor, in a seat pocket, or inside the glove compartment. . Jonny Cat Litter and L'eggs Sheer Energy Panty Hose. To deodorize the interior of a car, cut off the two feet from a clean, used pair of L'eggs Sheer Energy Panty Hose, fill them both with Jonny Cat Litter, tie a knot in the open end, and place the sachets under the driver and passenger seats. The clay absorbs musty smells. . McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract. To deodorize the smell of skunk from inside a car, saturate a rag with McCormick Pure Vanilla Extract and place it inside an open container on the floor of the backseat. . Parsons' Ammonia. To kill cigarette odor in a car, pour one cup Parsons' Ammonia into a bowl, set it on the floor of the car, and lock the car shut for twenty-four hours. Remove the bowl, lower all the windows, and let the car air out thoroughly.
PAINT
. Bon Ami. To deoxidize dull paint on a car, sprinkle Bon Ami cleanser lightly onto the car while washing, rinse well, and wax the car.
POLISHING
. Kingsford's Corn Starch. After waxing your car, sprinkle some Kingsford's Corn Starch on the body and buff with a soft, clean cloth. The cornstarch absorbs excess polish.
SCUFFMARKS
. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. To clean a paint scuffmark from a car, gently rub the scuffmark with a damp Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
SPARK PLUGS
. Easy-Off Oven Cleaner. To clean dirty spark plugs, soak the tips of the spark plugs in Easy-Off Oven Cleaner for two hours in a well-ventilated area, rinse clean, and dry. . Forster Clothespins. Before disconnecting the spark club cables to clean or replace the spark plugs, number Forster Clothespins with an indelible marker and clip to each cable.
STEERING WHEELS
. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. To clean grime from the steering wheel of a car, gently rub the steering wheel with a damp Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and dry thoroughly.
STICKERS
. Conair 1875 Watt Hair Dryer. To remove a sticker from a car window, aim a Conair 1875 Watt Hair Dryer at the sticker to melt the adhesive backing and use a single-edge razor blade to peel up the sticker. . Cutex Nail Polish Remover. To remove stickers from car windows, rub the stickers with a cotton ball saturated with Cutex Nail Polish Remover to dissolve the adhesive. Then carefully scrape off the sticker with a single- edge razor blade. . Star Olive Oil. To remove stickers from car windows, saturate the sticker with Star Olive Oil and use care to scrape off the sticker with a single-edge razor blade.
TAR
. Balmex. To remove tar spots from car finishes without damaging the finish, apply Balmex to a cloth and rub until the tar glides off. . Nivea Creme. To remove tar spots from a car's body, apply Nivea Creme to a cloth and rub until the tar glides off the finish. . Spray 'n Wash. To clean tar from the side of a car or interior carpeting, spray the spot with Spray 'n Wash stain remover. Wait a few minutes, and then wipe clean with a soft, clean cloth. Wash off any residual Spray 'n Wash with soapy water, and rinse clean. . WD-40. To remove tar from the body of a car, spray the tar with WD- 40, let sit for two minutes, and wipe clean with a clean, soft cloth.
TIRES
. Scrubbing Bubbles. To clean dirt and grime from a tire, spray the tire with Scrubbing Bubbles, let sit for thirty seconds, and rinse clean with a garden hose.
TRUNKS
. Pam Cooking Spray. To prevent the trunk from freezing shut, spray the black rubber gasket around the frame of the trunk with Pam Cooking Spray. The vegetable oil simultaneously keeps the gaskets supple and repels any water that will freeze into ice.
UPHOLSTERY
. Balmex. To clean vinyl car upholstery, squeeze Balmex onto a soft cloth and wipe down the seats and other vinyl surfaces. . Nivea Creme. To clean vinyl car upholstery, apply a dollop of Nivea Creme to a soft cloth and wipe down the seats and other vinyl surfaces.
WASHING
. Jet-Dry. After washing the car with a soapy solution and rinsing with a hose, mix one teaspoon Jet-Dry and two gallons water in a bucket, sponge the solution onto the car, and let dry. The surfactants in Jet-Dry will prevent streaking and spotting on the car. . Johnson's Baby Shampoo. To wash a car, add two capfuls Johnson's Baby Shampoo to a bucket of water and soap up your car with the gentle suds. . Murphy Oil Soap. Mix one-quarter teaspoon Murphy Oil Soap with two gallons water in a bucket, wash the car with a sponge saturated with suds, and rinse clean with a garden hose. Buff dry.
WAXING
. Simple Green. To remove wax from a car, mix one cup original Simple Green All-Purpose Cleaner and five cups hot water in a bucket. With the car parked in the shade, sponge the soapy mixture onto the car, let sit for five to ten minutes (without allowing it to dry), and rinse clean. Repeat if necessary to remove several coats of wax.
WHITEWALLS
. Easy-Off Oven Cleaner. To clean whitewalls, wet the tire, spray with Easy-Off Oven Cleaner (while wearing rubber gloves and protective eyewear), scrub with a brush for thirty seconds, and rinse clean with a hose. (Do not get Easy-Off on aluminum hubcaps.) . Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. To clean the whitewalls on tires, gently rub the stains with a damp Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. . Purell Instant Hand Sanitizer. Squirt Purell Instant Hand Sanitizer on whitewalls and scrub with a brush dipped in soapy water. . Scotch-Brite Heavy Duty Scrub Sponge. To clean tire white-walls, scrub with a damp Scotch-Brite Heavy Duty Scrub Sponge, and then rinse with a hose. . Scrubbing Bubbles. To clean dirt and grime from whitewalls, spray the tire with Scrubbing Bubbles, let sit for fifteen seconds, and rinse clean with a garden hose. . Spray 'n Wash. Spritz the whitewalls with Spray 'n Wash stain remover, let sit for five minutes, and rinse clean.
WINDSHIELDS AND WINDOWS
