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It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered Hardcover – November 13, 2018

4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 19,703 ratings

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New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst unveils her heart amid shattering circumstances and shows readers how to live assured when life doesn't turn out like they expected.

What do you do when God’s timing seems questionable, His lack of intervention hurtful, and His promises doubtful?

Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a moment, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned, and we quietly start to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness.

Lysa TerKeurst understands this deeply. But she's also discovered that our disappointments can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God. In It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa invites us into her own journey of faith and, with grit, vulnerability, and honest humor, helps us to:

  • Stop being pulled into the anxiety of disappointment by discovering how to better process unmet expectations and other painful situations.
  • Train ourselves to recognize the three strategies of the enemy so we can stand strong and persevere through unsettling relationships and uncertain outcomes.
  • Discover the secret of being steadfast and not panicking when God actually does give us more than we can handle.
  • Shift our suspicion that God is cruel or unfair to the biblical assurance that God is protecting and preparing us.
  • Know how to encourage a friend and help her navigate hard realities with real help from God's truth.
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Forgiving What You Can't Forget Uninvited The Best Yes I'll Start Again Monday
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Description In Forgiving What You Can't Forget, join bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst as she helps you discover how to move on, make peace with painful memories, and create a life that's beautiful again. Do you ever feel left out, lonely, or less than? We've all been there. Join Lisa in Uninvited as she teaches you how to keep rejections in perspective and be better equipped to foster healthy connections in your relationships. Are you tired of living with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule? In The Best Yes, Lysa guides you through the insightful lessons she's learned about what it means to live out the purpose that God has in store for you. Have diets left you feeling defeated? Based on Lysa's bestseller Made to Crave, I'll Start Again Monday offers a fresh perspective to anyone seeking the deeper spiritual and emotional motivation you need to make lasting changes.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Lysa TerKeurst is president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of six New York Times bestsellers, including Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, and It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way. She writes from her family’s farm table and lives in North Carolina. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Thomas Nelson (November 13, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0718039858
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0718039851
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.85 x 1 x 8.7 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 19,703 ratings

About the author

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Lysa TerKeurst
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Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of more than twenty-five books, including It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and the #1 New York Times bestsellers Forgiving What You Can’t Forget and Uninvited. She writes from her family’s farm table and lives in North Carolina. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
4.8 out of 5
19,703 global ratings
Life altering..Read the entire book in 1 day
5 Stars
Life altering..Read the entire book in 1 day
I honestly wish everyone facing struggle knew about this book, I cannot even begin to tell you how incredibly eye opening or the incredible impact it had on me, honestly I am at rock bottom and I happened to see high reviews on this book and bought it thinking it’s another book that I’ll get three chapters in and lay down and forget about and eventually buy another to add to the unread hardship type books. But I got this one day ago and literally had this book read and finished in less then 24 hours later, for once I felt like someone else was walking my identical life path of hardship emotionally and literally almost identical struggles, and identical feelings during similar hardships. This hook honestly has made me want to fight harder and never wanna be trapped in my own darkness and despair again, for once I have regained back my will to live and fight harder then ever before to keep pushing and If it wasn’t for this book then I couldn’t of been able to dig deep enough on my own to find what it was that could give me back my hope and faith again that I lost during continuous never ending hardships and darkness. I absolutely wish I could hand anyone facing their darkest times this book and tell them to read it right now and it’ll make them find their will to keep going and their hope again when they were certain life had robbed them of it. Seriously couldn’t recommend anyone to this enough. Amazing and breathtaking and life changing. ❤️ God bless this author and publishing her story to the world because it gave me back my will power and will to wanna live again and look to god always and stop allowing the enemy to sleep inside of me any longer. I kept asking why but now I will reach within my heart and soul and Try my damn hardest to remember that I’ll never know why, but god has a purpose for my pain and he’s making me better through it even if it hurts like hell during.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2024
Though Lysa TerKeurst writes mainly for women,(sometimes it was jarring to read “dear sister” or “you’re a strong woman” as a brother in Christ and someone who is most definitely not a woman), anyone can benefit from the wisdom from scripture and her own personal experiences and insights.

Some of my favorite quotes are “Your whys have made you wise” and “To be human is to be vulnerable. It demands a trust in God that's no joke.
Trusting God is the hardest lesson to learn but the most crucial. We trust a God who allows hurt. But we also trust a God who uses hurt for good. Being hurt isn't the worst thing in the world. It's actually the very thing that makes us closer to Jesus and closer to our fellow humans. In a world of differences we are so very united when we simply cry together.”

There are so many more gems in this insightful and encouraging collection that you have to read to discover and be blessed by!

Thank you Lysa for not giving in to your pain but letting your God-gifted talent to express prose shine through and help countless people be reminded of truths that are often too difficult to see in the midst of life’s trials and tribulations.

Highly, HIGHLY recommend this amazing book!!
12 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2024
I love anything this author writes. She is so transparent and honest about her own experiences and uses real methods to help the reader through their own life. She uses biblical principles in a way that’s easy to understand and practical in today’s world.
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2024
This book is so great! It’s been so helpful on my journey to healing. The author knows how to put feelings and thoughts to words so well! Such vulnerability and authenticity. I highly recommend this book, especially for those struggling to accept the hard times of disappointments.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2024
Disappointment is a tricky topic and I think Lysa did a good job of describing it and giving some practical tools. I liked this book because at no point did she stray from reality or make unrealistic goals to never be disappointed again. Also, recommend reading in community like a book club or small group setting.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2024
To live is to love. To love is to risk pain. To risk pain is to live. It’s what it means to truly be human.

I really enjoyed reading and walking with God in each chapter diving in God's word which is food for our tired and weary souls at such a time of loss we are enduring. Life is precious from conception to natural death, what I've learned and hope to share with those around me is that God can take out disappointments and make us stronger in love and truth to help others know God more. I especially like the story titled "Upside down" in the last chapter, because that's so many of us but it takes courage to be humble and let our light shine for others. Be blessed and God loves you.
9 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2019
I first came across this book at a difficult point in my life. I lost my previous job and I missed three months worth of income, and the new job was a drastic pay cut. You can call that a setback. I get emails from Amazon about product recommendations, and as if it was a Godsend, an email recommending this book was sent. Because I can surely relate to the title of the book, I decided to purchase it.
Lysa uses her own personal struggles and difficulties to navigate you through what to do and how to get over your personal struggles. I’m glad that she’s just not giving advice; she’s been through hard times herself so she can understand any pain the reader could be experiencing as they read the book. The biggest takeaway I got from the book was that even though you may be going through something, God remains consistent, and you can always go to Him for your help.
Here’s why I’m knocking off one star: I didn’t really absorb everything she was saying in the book. Perhaps that is my fault for reading the book too quickly and/or sporadically. I’ll definitely have to read it again, and perhaps with the accompanying workbook.
Lysa is an author that caters toward women. If you’re a man, don’t let that stop you from reading this book if you’re going through something you feel isn’t going the way you expected. Whenever you see the word “woman” used, just replace it with “man” to refer to yourself. And to the women reading this review, if you think your husband might benefit from this book, then by all means purchase it for him.
10 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2024
Our teenage daughter is going through alot of hard medical diagnoses right now. I got her this book to read and use with her daily Bible reading. She LOVES it!
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2024
Great encouragement for anyone that has or is going though a divorce/bad breakup.

Top reviews from other countries

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L.
5.0 out of 5 stars A very good book
Reviewed in Canada on June 28, 2023
This author has been through a few thing in life and shares in an open honest and encouraging way. If you are struggling with hard or dark times, this book is worth the investment and so is her devotional book “Seeing Beautiful Again.”
Catch a couple teaching On YouTube if you are still not sure. I am working through several of her books and am finding them to be very helpful and sometimes painfully helpful!
One person found this helpful
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KarlaB
5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente
Reviewed in Mexico on August 12, 2019
Es una hermosa herramienta de estudio
skiwiman
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding, honest, sometimes brutally honest read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 15, 2019
Lysa writes from the heart. There is no sugar and spice and all things nice. Some Christian writers can write in a manner which makes them seem saintly and their experience beyond the grasp of us mere mortals. Lysa is on our level. Her reactions and thoughts we can identify with. This is a tough read in places, but her response to a life-changing event is encouraging as it is heart-breaking. A recommended read for those of us going through tought times. A recommended read for those who want to be there for those of us going throug tough times!
15 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good book on dealing with disappointment
Reviewed in Germany on May 10, 2019
This book is authentic and raw and full of biblical truth. The reflection questions in each chapter challenge one to introspection and the words equip one with the truth of God as you walk in the shatter of life. Thank you, Lysa, for sharing the beauty that God is able to bring out of the dust of our lives.
Diana
2.0 out of 5 stars Buy if you want to be reminded of the rhetorics
Reviewed in Singapore on June 22, 2021
There are so many raving reviews that I bought this book, wanting to heal, from many traumatic experiences and a recent horrifying experience that left me financial loss and and trust in humanity. I picked this up with an open mind but chapter after chapter, I read things which I'm confident we already know or have heard from sermons or closed ones. You know, the usual advice one would have given. I give this two stars, at best, and will move on to other Christian writers.
2 people found this helpful
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