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Working with Anger Paperback – September 17, 2001
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Anger plagues all of us on a personal, national, and international level. Yet we see people, such as the Dalai Lama, who have faced circumstances far worse than many of us have faced—including exile, persecution, and the loss of many loved ones—but who do not burn with rage or seek revenge. How do they do it?
Working with Anger presents a variety of Buddhist methods for subduing and preventing anger not by changing what is happening, but by framing it differently. No matter what our religion, learning to work with our anger is effective for everyone seeking personal happiness as well as world peace.
“ . . . a kind and genuinely helpful guide to handling one of the greatest challenges in living an emotionally intelligent life.”
—Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence
- Print length176 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherSnow Lion
- Publication dateSeptember 17, 2001
- Dimensions6 x 0.5 x 8.96 inches
- ISBN-101559391634
- ISBN-13978-1559391634
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Editorial Reviews
Review
—Sangha Journal
"Thubten Chodron offers her insights on anger, the ways that it manifests in our lives, and the ways that we can skillfully work to transform it. Both inspiring and humble in its approach, this book is sure to be a help to many."
—Sharon Salzberg, meditation teacher and author of Lovingkindness
"Presented with clarity, wit, anecdotes, and examples, the material is easy to read and to absorb. If you have an anger problem (who doesn't?) or are dealing with someone who does (who isn't?), you will be glad you found this book."
—Light of Consciousness
"Thubten Chodron is one of our freshest voices of the dharma. Echoing the clarity of H.H. the Dalai Lama's own teachings on forgiveness and healing, in Working With Anger she brings us helpful, practical insights from her deep training in Himalayan wisdom traditions. Written in clear, user-friendly language, this superb handbook offers us concrete strategies for dealing effectively with the painful afflictions of anger, criticism, and betrayal in contemporary life situations. Can we ever tire of such necessary, good advice?"
—Trevor Carolan, David See-Chai Lam Centre for International Communication
"By presenting in everyday language the Buddhist methods for overcoming and preventing anger, Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron has made accessible time-tested practical guidelines that can be helpful for everyone."
—Alexander Berzin, author of Relating to a Spiritual Teacher and Developing Balanced Sensitivity
"In Working with Anger, Thubten Chodron offers us a kind and genuinely helpful guide to handling one of the greatest challenges in living an emotionally intelligent life."
—Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence
"Working with Anger is a wonderful, wise, and life-changing book. Written in Ani Thubten Chodron's characteristic accessible style, generously laced with examples drawn from daily life, the book is filled with practical strategies on how to free ourselves from anger, resentment, and envy. If you are looking for a practical guide to overcome anger and live with greater tolerance, love, and forgiveness, I highly recommend this book."
—Howard C. Cutler, MD, coauthor of The Art of Happiness
"Here we have a psychology that leads to true liberation. . . . What I like here is that this work is not just about moralizing and sermonizing, but gives practical, useable techniques to neutralize anger. . . . It has a clarity and simplicity that can only come from someone who actually lives what she writes. Highly recommendable."
—Diamond Fire
From the Publisher
One summer His Holiness the Dalai Lama spoke to a Los Angeles audience that included a group of inner city youth in fatigues, their camp uniforms, together with their counselors. After his talk, one of the youths asked His Holiness, "People get right in my face and provoke me. How can I not fight back?" She was challenging him, but quite sincere in her request.
His Holiness looked her in the eye and said, "Violence is old-fashioned. Anger doesn't get you anywhere. If you can calm your mind and be patient, you will be a wonderful example to those around you." The audience clapped, but the girl remained standing, looking back at him. She wasn't yet satisfied.
The Dalai Lama went on to describe how so many great people -- Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, and Jesus, for example -- remained peaceful in the face of violence and adversity. Many of them experienced difficulties when they were growing up. "Even I," he said. "My youth was fraught with conflict and violence. Yet all of these people expounded non-violence and love for others, and the world is better for their contributions. It's possible for you to do this too."
He then motioned for the girl to come up and shake his hand. As she approached him with her hand outstretched and a nervous smile on her face, the Dalai Lama opened his arms and hugged her. The girl returned to her seat, beaming.
After the talk, one of the sponsors asked the teenagers if they would share their experience. A burly, tough-looking young man came to the microphone with a huge smile on his face. "Phew," he said, "You must be able to hear my heart beating from where you're sitting! I've seen the Dalai Lama on TV and in the magazines and thought he was pretty cool, but I just can't describe what it feels like to have met him!" and he touched his heart.
A Tibetan monk who had escaped from Communist-occupied Tibet just a few years earlier told me his story. His family was a wealthy, prominent one in the area of Tibet where he grew up. After the Communist occupation of Tibet in 1950 and the subsequent abortive uprising in 1959, his family's house was confiscated and made into a jail. Because his family were landowners and because he was a monk, he was arrested by the Chinese Communists. Then, he was imprisoned in a jail that had once been his home. He and the other inmates were allowed to go to the toilet outdoors twice a day, but otherwise they had to stay in the house, which now had broken windows and none of its former comforts. Most people would have burned with rage at the injustice and humiliation, but this monk told me that he tried to use his time wisely, doing his meditation practices to improve the state of his mind. Although he was deprived of all his religious implements, he silently recited the texts he had memorized and contemplated their meanings. In this way, he familiarized his mind with attitudes and emotions that lead to enlightenment and avoided the pitfalls of anger. When I talked with him, I detected no sign of resentment against the Chinese Communists. He had a profound love of life.
Stories such as these lead us to wonder, "How do they do it?" They are human beings just like us, and although they have faced circumstances much worse than a great many of us have faced-including exile, imprisonment, torture, and the loss of many loved ones-they do not burn with rage or seek revenge. This book is largely a collection of Buddhist methods for subduing and preventing anger that have worked for the Dalai Lama, the monk above, and many others.
There is nothing particularly "Buddhist" about these methods. In fact, many of the Buddha's teachings are common sense, not religious doctrine, and common sense is not the property of any religion. Rather, these methods show us reasonable and beneficial ways to live. No matter what our religion, looking at our minds and learning to work with our anger are helpful.
From the Inside Flap
Working with Anger presents a variety of Buddhist methods for subduing and preventing anger, not by changing what is happening, but by framing it differently. No matter what our religion, learning to work with our anger is effective for everyone seeking personal happiness as well as world peace.
"In Working with Anger, Thubten Chodron offers us a kind and genuinely helpful guide to handling one of the greatest challenges in living an emotionally intelligent life."--Daniel Goleman, author, Emotional Intelligence
"Working with Anger is a wonderful, wise, and life-changing book. Written in Ani Thubten Chodron's characteristic accessible style, generously laced with examples drawn from daily life, the book is filled with practical strategies on how to free ourselves from anger, resentment, and envy. If you are looking for a practical guide to overcome anger and live with greater tolerance, love, and forgiveness, I highly recommend this book."--Howard C. Cutler, M.D., co-author of The Art of Happiness.
American Buddhist nun Thubten Chodron lives in Seattle and travels worldwide, teaching and leading meditation retreats. She is the author of Open Heart, Clear Mind. and Buddhism for Beginners
About the Author
Ven. Chodron emphasizes the practical application of Buddha's teachings in our daily lives and is especially skilled at explaining them to contemporary readers. She is well-known for her warm, humorous, and lucid teachings. Active in interfaith dialogue, she also does Dharma outreach in prisons and teaches worldwide. Visit thubtenchodron.org to access archives of her extensive teachings, and youtube.com/user/sravastiabbey for daily Dharma talks.
"Venerable Thubten Chodron is someone whose life embodies the virtues of kindness, simplicity and clarity of vision, which lie at the heart of the Buddha's teaching. It is these perennial qualities that shine through her writings and touch the hearts of many readers all over the world." - Thupten Jinpa, author and translator for the Dalai Lama
Product details
- Publisher : Snow Lion (September 17, 2001)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 176 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1559391634
- ISBN-13 : 978-1559391634
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.5 x 8.96 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #543,991 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #245 in Anger Management Self Help
- #1,339 in Emotional Mental Health
- #1,606 in Emotional Self Help
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Venerable Thubten Chodron is an author, teacher, and the founder and abbess of Sravasti Abbey, one of the first Tibetan Buddhist training monasteries for Western nuns and monks in the US. She graduated from UCLA, and did graduate work in education at USC. Ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist nun in 1977, she has studied extensively with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Tsenzhap Serkong Rinpoche, and Kyabje Zopa Rinpoche. She received full ordination as a bhikshuni in 1986.
Ven. Chodron teaches worldwide and is known for her practical (and humorous!) explanations of how to apply Buddhist teachings in daily life. She is also involved in prison outreach and interfaith dialogue. She has published many books on Buddhist philosophy and meditation, and is currently co-authoring with His Holiness the Dalai Lama a multi-volume series of teachings on the Buddhist path, The Library of Wisdom and Compassion. The first volume, Approaching the Buddhist Path, was published August 2017. Visit thubtenchodron.org for a media library of her teachings, and sravasti.org to learn more about Sravasti Abbey.
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I've worked hard and searched all over for tools that would help me through those moments; at times, when I felt I had finally succeeded, something would trigger my anger again,I would lash out and lose my way again.
My search led me to this book, having read the author before and having liked the practicality and simplicity of the ideas she expressed.
I can honestly say that this is one of the most life-changing books I've ever read in my life. It explains the mechanics of anger, it has you examine how these mechanics apply to your personal life and most importantly, it gives the tools to deal with and dissolve the anger so you live a life of harmony with those around you.
These tools are very practical and can be easily used by anyone; it 's not addressed to Buddhists although it does use Buddhist principles. My point is that regardless of yor personal beliefs, if you want to learn how to effectively deal with those negative emotions this book is for you. Furthermore, the author is renowned for using simple and direct language to communicate very profound concepts, so her books in general and this one in particular are very easy to understand. I bought the Kindle version, which is a fine digital issue, with a workable table of contents. The layout of the book is simple, logical and easy to follow: it first explains the mechanics of anger, providing lots of real-life examples (even some from her own life) and then it goes onto giving several practical tools to deal with specific situations. Again, all in layman's terms so anyone can understand.
So many times I tried to understand why, if I generally looked for the well-being of those around me, would feel so annoyed or irritated at those around me. I finally do. Of course, I'm just getting started and have more work to do;the author makes an excellent point saying that this is not something that gets handled overnight. It requires patience, abandoning self-defeat and especially cultivating love and compassion for other people.
My relationship with the people I love and care for has dramatically changed and I have the author to thank for that.
Even if you're not an angry person, I think the concepts presented in the book can help anyone who wants to gain a deeper insight into human behavior and to be a better person.
I can't recommend it highly enough.
The book contained wonderfully wise advise and techniques on how to deal with anger. Although the book's theme, as the title indicates, focuses on "Anger" it could easily be altered to be "Working with Agitation" for the principles in the books go far beyond the scope of being helpful with only anger. I've found it quite easy to carry over it's wisdom to cover a myriad of negative emotions and suffering in general.
As a person who used to be plagued with severe anger issues, this book was a godsend for me. I've given this book as a gift to many other's, all of which after reading it look at me with wide eyes exclaiming, "wow, this is an AWESOME book!" There is a lot in this book. Myself and others I know had to keep putting the book down to contemplate; taking the advice in and relating it to past events. At times I would find myself actually excited for situations to occur that I previously would have trouble with now with these new found tactics.
If you have anger issues, or want to have an arsenal of advice for those who do, I can't recommend this book enough! But even if you don't, this book still can be massively helpful for we all experience emotional suffering at various points in our lives.
I wish you all happiness.
Top reviews from other countries
Information to underst the nature of anger and why it arises.
Love this book. Important resource for my own challenges. Gives me control.
I hope very much that this book will be translated into german :) Than I could recommend it to some people who would really benefit from it but can't read this much english.