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Language and the Pursuit of Happiness: A New Foundation for Designing Your Life, Your Relationships & Your Results Paperback – July 31, 2004
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- Print length295 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherNew Possibilities Press
- Publication dateJuly 31, 2004
- Dimensions6 x 0.75 x 8.75 inches
- ISBN-100974948705
- ISBN-13978-0974948706
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In my 23 years in management, you are the best investment the SSA has ever made in management development. --Harris N. Gibbs, District Manager, US Social Security Administration
What I have learned working with Chalmers continues to have profound impact on me, both personally and professionally. --Dave Pendery - Director, Human Resources Information Strategy, The Coca-Cola Company
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- Publisher : New Possibilities Press; 42331st edition (July 31, 2004)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 295 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0974948705
- ISBN-13 : 978-0974948706
- Item Weight : 1.25 pounds
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.75 x 8.75 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #160,395 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #287 in Workplace Culture (Books)
- #871 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- #4,265 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
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For our company (a global software develpment company), Chalmers has also converted this book into a 10-Module Program called SOAR, and currently we have over 83 leaders, directors, and managers going through the program. Here's a small sampling of what participants are saying about what they are learning from this book and the program. After you read these comments, I beleve you'll see for yourself the transformative power of what this book and Chalmers has to offer.
* The SOAR program immediately made me more aware of the language I use and how language defines experiences. That self-awareness is the first step toward reaching my program goals.
* It's kind of yoga for the mind. I am in better control of my emotions and ego. It's a "tool" to understand oneself better and it covers every aspect of your life. Gives you different perspectives to the situation and lets you better manage these perspectives also.
* The biggest benefit I have seen is that the SOAR program brought into focus all those conversations that I had been putting off, building up stress. Believe me, having those tough conversations is better than the alternative!
* I wish I could have had the opportunity to participate in a program like SOAR early in my career. The group discussions, sharing, and building relationships have enlightened me both personally and professionally. Anyone who wants to understand themselves better, listen and think before reacting/answering and expand the way they approach life will definitely benefit.
* I have come to look at me from a different perspective. It is important to uncover some truths about yourself and work on trying to change them so that you can live a more fulfilled life.
* Being part natural-born skeptic and part mule-headed ox, doing what is necessary to make lasting changes doesn't come easily for me, but the levels of direct accountability with this program have been a blessing and a source of encouragement that even I can do this.
* I've found that the best insights in life don't arrive with a roar.... They're often the understated discoveries that ease in to our minds and subtly alter our perceptions. SOAR has quietly introduced me to an alternative view of myself and my interactions with others that is so simple, and yet so powerful, it makes you wonder how you never saw it before. What you learn is immediately accessible and practical for everyday use.
* As a result of this learning, I am able to better recognize and shift my moods to the more positive, and am starting to experience less anxiety, less angst, more contentment, and better relationships with my family and those I work with. Also, I am now less impulsive, less reactive, and more thoughtful in my decisions, which is definitely improving the quality of my life.
* If you could find a way to transform your life such that there is a lasting impact on how you are at work or at home, would you consider it? I did and I am so glad that I did. We hear that word "transform" many times in our lives but never have I come across something that truly speaks to the concept of transformation as SOAR. Consider the possibility.
* SOAR has provided me with the opportunity to focus on ME! It isn't often that an organization supports not only your professional development, but also your personal development. Since starting the program, I have a heightened awareness of the choices available to me and as a result I am already starting to take more purposeful actions in my life to achieve my goals.
* Unless you SOAR you don't know what you don't know. Personally, I believe enrolling in this program is the best thing I have done for myself. Being part of a group, learning from the coach and colleagues gives me a new perspective about the fulfillment of life, work & relationships. ---- Possibilities are endless.
* I love it that the program challenges me to think, to reconsider things that in the past seemed obvious. It gives me tools to handle work related and day to day communication issues and it is done in a fun way. The best thing about this program is that I get to practice and not just read the theory.
* I didn't realize how much my mood was impacting my conversations. I also never realized how many assessments I have made about myself and others, many which weren't correct nor serving me.
It is certainly not the only book on Ontological Coaching out there, but I especially like this one because it treats its subject in depth, uses good anecdotal illustrations and exercises, because it is humbly and politely presented, and because it works. Some of the other books in the genre come across as to triumphalistic, absolutist, authoritarian, and/or narcissistic.
The book, as others in its genre, is rooted in the theorizing of the brilliant Fernando Flores, who also influenced Werner Ehrhardt and est. Flores parted company with Erhardt early on. The book also parallels what one learns from the Landmark Forum. However, in no way is this book self-promoting, nor does it present itself as the only gospel which will save the multitudes. And again, in style the book exudes the charm of its southern gentleman author. Warm. respectful, gently accented, spoken over the top of a mint julep.
Of those I have read in this vein, I also favor Tracy Goss's "The Last Word on Power: Exsecutive Reinvention For Leaders Who Must Make the Impossible Happen," also one of the most helpful books I have read in the past ten years. Goss is more in your face in her approach, and speaks with a small "m" messianic fervor, but the concepts are truly transformational and succinctly presented. On soft touch side of the equation, more about transforming one's personal life than one's corporate life (which is the focus of Goss), is Matthew Budd's and Larry Rothstein's "You Are What You Say." Budd is a physician and the architect of the first Behavior Medicien depeartment at the Harvard Community Health Plan, so he writes with authority and clinical concern, addressing more how such concepts impact one's personal and relational life.
This one by Chalmers Brothers is both personally and corporately pitched, and combines the transformational insights of Goss with the pastoral tone of Budd. I read all the time, and buy books constantly. This is one of the most helpful I have read in the past ten years.
It doesn't pretend to be a new Bible, but neither is it bunk. Buy it.
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However, the real core of the book is about the role of language more generally in framing how one lives: first of all, in terms of the frameworks of interpretation within which one lives transparently, and how making these explicit can help break you out of negative ways of assessing oneself or one's situation. Secondly, however, Brothers develops a view of language in terms of its primary role being to enable commitments to be undertaken; for me, this view of language was reminiscent of Robert Brandom's work. The idea of how one lives in and through language in a way which is not always visible to oneself, and how one can fall into simply adopting (in an inauthentic way, one might say) the commitments and standards of the society one lives in, owe much to Heidegger, I think.
The book is not perfect, and there are some flakey parts, but if you are looking for a philosophically-based self-help book, this could be for you!