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Man of Steel and Velvet: A Guide to Masculine Development Mass Market Paperback – November 1, 1994

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 85 ratings

This is a book which teaches men to be men. It helps the young, single man visualize the man he ought to be in full maturity. It provides the mature, married man with a pattern to consider for more effectiveness in his role as a husband and father. The teachings presented here are greatly needed, for in spite of the millions of men who make up our society, there are few role models from which men can pattern.

It may seem presumptuous that I should declare there is a need for men to be men, for what man is there who doesn't think he is already a man. He was born male and has grown into manhood. Being a man is self-evident. In childhood he was proud to be a boy, and no one dared call him a sissy. Everything in his nature demands respect for the masculine in him. So fundamental is this that to suggest a loss of manliness is the greatest affront that can be made. Yet, the sad truth is that men, speaking generally, are no longer men. This becomes obvious when the average man is measured against the undeniable criteria I present in this book.

American men received a stinging insult from British psychiatrist, Dr. Joshua Bierer, who described them as a bunch of weak-kneed, lily livered sissies. He originally thought women were at fault, declaring American women to be domineering. Before I thought the women wanted to rule the country. I changed that opinion. Women are compelled to take over, not fighting to take over, he continued, I thought the men who attended some seminars I spoke at with their wives would shoot me for my remarks, but instead they all agreed with me. It's still the fatherless society. The husbands are not husbands. All the women are crying out for a strong man, and he's just not there.

Throughout our society we find men who are weak, spoiled, pampered, spineless, and lacking in moral, physical or mental strength. There are men who fail to take their position as head of the household, allowing women and children to push them around, not wishing to accept the responsibility which is rightfully their own. Some blatantly encourage their wives to assume this burden. Many of our so-called jokes center around the wife wearing the pants. Her husband is portrayed as a bungler, inept and incompetent to understand or control his family.

To a great extent men have failed to assume the primary responsibility of providing bread for their tables. Women must come to the rescue. Every day millions of them leave their households to assist in earning the living. The working mother is more the rule than the exception. The deterioration and loss of effectiveness in so many homes is in great part a consequence of the neglect resulting from the mother deserting her post, a situation she often laments but can do nothing about.

Lack of chivalry is apparent on every hand. Of necessity, women must take care of themselves. They change their own tires, wash the automobiles, mow the lawn, repair the furnace, paint the house and lift heavy objects. Where are the men waiting to offer masculine assistance?

In addition to failing at home, men are failing to measure up in society. We are in a period of crisis where it is likely the great inheritances we enjoy from the labors and sacrifices of generations past may be lost. Freedom is in jeopardy. It is a time of turmoil, strife and numerous problems. Our only hope is for men to rise to their feet as real men. But where are the heroes of today? Where is the man who will proclaim, Give me liberty or give me death!? Where are men willing to sacrifice time and energy to rescue a dwindling society?

The Need

Our crucial times require men of strong minds, kind hearts, and willing hands, men who find joy in labor, men of courage, honor and strong opinions, clear minds and high goals, men who are not afraid of responsibility, men who are dedicated to a task and will surrender their selfish desires and pursuits to a life of service. These are men whose word can be depended upon.

But along with this fiber of steel there must be a gentle nature. We need men who can appreciate the beauties of nature, men who love their families with passion and honor, men who adore womanhood, yet dislike weakness or coyness. We need men with compassion, sensitive to the needs of the less fortunate, men who are tender with their wives and children, men who have developed an ability to love.

This book outlines the way to become such a man. It is the way to a man's greatest fulfillment. Fulfillment does not come, as many suppose, by recognition, honors, money, security, material goods or sex. Although these contribute greatly to his well-being, his greatest fulfillment comes in being a man.

This goal is attainable, regardless of one's station in life. No one is shut out if he obeys definite and unfailing principles. One is not limited by restrictions which usually accompany so-called success.

This book will teach you how to understand women, their feminine nature and peculiarities, and how to build a beautiful relationship and an enduring marriage. It will teach you how to stand at the head of your household, gaining the utmost respect from wife and children. It will teach you how to succeed as a man in your work, in your community, and in your duties as an integral part of society.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Man of Steel and Velvet describes in a simple and forthright way what it takes to be a man. At a time when few clear cut answers are given, the reader will find it refreshing and inspiring to see a sensible, understandable and workable guide for masculine fulfillment.

In learning what it means to be a man, the reader will also learn how to understand women. For many this will be a surprising discovery. The author discusses practical solutions to many of the difficult situations which commonly arise in marriage.

By carefully analyzing the needs of a woman, especially her needs in marriage, and correlating them with the masculine nature and temperament, the author comes up with an intriguing picture of a man with the combined traits of the firmness of steel and the gentleness of velvet. This is the kind of man who commands the admiration of his friends and the devotion and respect of his wife and children. Man of Steel and Velvet gives a clear picture of masculinity and the different traits that make a man manly. How this is achieved is a most enlightening study.

For the man who is approaching the age of marriage or for the man who is already experiencing the challenges this responsibility imposes, Man of Steel and Velvet is an invaluable guide to achieving harmony and success.

About the Author

Aubrey Andelin received his D.D.S. degree from the University of Southern California and has practiced dentistry in California and Idaho. His business activities include commercial and agricultural developments in the United States, Australia, Japan and Brazil. He is founder of a successful publishing business. He is co-founder of Family Living International where he has had broad experience in the field of human relations. He and his wife, Helen, are the parents of eight children and grandparents of fifty eight. Mrs. Andelin is the author of Fascinating Womanhood, The Secrets of Winning Men, and All About Raising Children.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Pacific Press; Updated edition (November 1, 1994)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Mass Market Paperback ‏ : ‎ 301 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0911094237
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0911094237
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.5 x 0.75 x 7.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 85 ratings

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Aubrey Andelin
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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
85 global ratings
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This item was supposed to be new but arrived worn and damaged (missing a corner of front cover, worn edges and very yellowed pages).
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on August 23, 2011
I am a 25 year old male who recently read this book. A lot of the qualities and characteristics this book wants men to develop are very beneficial to anyone looking for marriage, family, and a better society. Just as women nowadays have abandoned their roles as nurturers, homemakers, and mothers. I see a lot of men abandoning their roles as well as guide, providers and protectors. As this is happening in today's society you are seeing less and less people getting married and even having loving long term relationships. This leads to people using each other and indulging in self interests which is detrimental to society. Men are stuck in a state of arrested development and have not grown up and thus is why we see a lot of men acting like children in today's society searching for a sense of purpose. This book would not have needed to be written 60 years ago but in today's world this information is suppressed and their are less and less good role models to look up to. We have self indulging musicians, athletes and corrupt politicians as our masculine models. Definite purchase for any man who wants a sense of purpose in his life.
14 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 17, 2013
For every man out there who is serious about his relationship with his wife or wanting to be the best husband in the future. This is a must read. I have all my sons read it before they get married, I even have my son in laws read it before they marry my daughters. Marriage is serious business and it takes a real man to be a husband. This book will help you be all she needs so she can be all you need.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2016
Every man, younger or older needs to read this book. The book is based off of biblical principles that are lacking, and are missing today. If a man will read this book and apply it, it will change his life; not only his, but his family. Excellent book for those men that where not taught how to walk like men.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 30, 2017
Every real man needs to read and follow the principles in this book. There aren't enough real men in this world and this book explains why and how to fix it in all of our single , married, and with children lives.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2018
the book is very important to grow REAL men in this country, men who relish in taking charge of EVERYTHING as the Supreme Being has designated from the beginning of time.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2014
Man of Steel and Velvet: A Guide to Masculine Development by Aubrey Andelin came in good condition. It's a little outdated, but still good. Most concepts are good for all time. I'm enjoying it for the most part.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 18, 2014
My husband is very steely and very velvetty thanks to this book! LOL...JK It really is a valuable resource for guidance on being a balanced man (spiritually, financially, domestically, mentally, etc). Would recommend to any men who are not already perfect! (which means every one of them)
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2014
It is worth your time to find this book. It is eye opening to realize the extent to which modern feminism has permeated the culture. You will be challenged to develop the will, a much overlooked virtue today.

Top reviews from other countries

Cymmone
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Canada on September 3, 2016
Great book. Bought for my husband. He's liking it so far!
Judith
5.0 out of 5 stars Stop! Look! and Listen!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 20, 2013
Clearly written and much needed these days. Very helpful information for all men. Great insights to help them keep women happy and themselves fulfilled and successful in life. Super help for mothers with boys too!
MrsBerry
1.0 out of 5 stars Book is literally falling apart at the seams
Reviewed in Canada on October 1, 2022
Smokey yellow pages, cover falling off, half the book highlighter with notes? This is NOT a sellable item on Amazon. Buyer beware!