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You Don't Have to Try So Hard: Ditch Expectations and Live Your Own Best Life Paperback – September 4, 2018

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 42 ratings

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My soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Psalm 62:5

Worn Down by the Pursuit of Perfection?

Are you hustling through life, struggling to meet impossible standards and be everything to everybody? Do you ever wonder if there's any rest on the other side of the rush?

With honesty and humor, Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory will help you take a breather and find reassurance as you face the bullies of perfectionism, performancism, people-pleasing, and procrastination. Self-assessments and personal stories will guide you from panic to peace as you learn to

  • pick battles worthy of your time and energy
  • embrace the freedom of a carefully considered "no"
  • recognize your strengths and weaknesses in the quest for balance
  • use authenticity as a weapon to battle bullies
  • release yourself from the endless pressure of pleasing others

Ditch your feelings of inadequacy and finally come face-to-face with the bold, balanced woman God created you to be.

You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be you!

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’ s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults.



Through Scripture and storytelling, Cheri Gregory delights in helping women draw closer to Jesus, the strength of every tender heart. She is the coleader of Sensitive and Strong: the place for the HSP Christian woman to find connection; the cohost, with Amy Carroll, of Grit ’n’ Grace—the Podcast; the founder of Write Beside You communicator coaching; and the coauthor, with Kathi Lipp, of You Don’t Have to Try So Hard and Overwhelmed. Cheri speaks locally and internationally for women’s events and educational conferences.She and her college sweetheart, Daniel, have been married for more than three decades and live on the central California coast.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harvest House Publishers; Reissue edition (September 4, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0736974016
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0736974011
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.75 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 42 ratings

About the author

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Cheri Gregory
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Cheri Gregory is an author, speaker, blogger, writing coach, high school English teacher, and PhD candidate. She speaks and writes from the conviction that "how-to" works best in partnership with "heart, too."

Cheri blogs about breaking free from perfectionism and people-pleasing, and being an *HSP, at www.CheriGregory.com and www.SensitiveAndStrong. She also co-hosts a podcast called "Grit ’n’ Grace: Good Girls Breaking Bad Rules" with Amy Carroll: www.GritNGraceGirls.com

Cheri has a BA in English, an MA in Leadership, and is pursuing her PhD in Leadership. She is researching the organic growth and practice of "bestowed leadership" — the kind of influence that naturally develops as Christian women write and speak with authenticity and vulnerability.

Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for over thirty-three years. They are parents of two adults, who are also opposite personalities: Annemarie (30) and Jonathon (28).

( * Highly Sensitive Person)

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
42 global ratings
Give yourself a break
5 Stars
Give yourself a break
Everything these authors write is gold! Their writing is insightful, entertaining and above all, PRACTICAL. Overcome the traps that hold you back from a peaceful, purposeful life. This isn't just feel good or self help, it is transformative, especially for anyone who struggles with feeling like they can never do enough or be enough. Highly recommended!
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on September 10, 2018
I was given a free copy of this book to review on my blog, but I loved it so much that I ordered a second copy as a gift. What I like most about it is that instead of just stating the problem, it provides practical steps for solving the problem in a way that relates to who I am and what I'm willing to do.
What first caught my attention was the full-page quote, "Perfectionism isn't Christian. It's just crazy." In our Pinterest-perfect world, I feel like there are so many messages that good enough is never good enough. We have to be perfect and being perfect in our words, actions and looks somehow makes us more godly. The authors destroy that myth in a way that is both valid and relevant. Regardless of whether you're a people-pleaser, a perfectionist, a procrastinator or a performancist (is that even a word?) -- or a combination of these -- I think you'll find value in this book. It's not just words on a paper that make you think differently but also an action plan to immediately start behaving differently based on your natural personality. For me, the most powerful point in the whole book is that a wise woman says no -- Saying yes to everything doesn't make us better; it's a foolish waste of time and energy. The authors make a strong case for how saying yes to everything stops others from embracing their giftings and keeps us too busy to pursue our own.
10 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2018
I love this book because there are personal quizzes you can take throughout the book to help you identify what "bucket" you fall into rather than having to guess what type of personality you are or how you handle always wanting to protect others or say yes when you really want to say no. This book is an easy read and I feel like I am sitting in the living room with the authors just chatting. Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory give real life examples from their own lives showing you that they are not just "telling" you how you don't have to try so hard but rather "showing" you that they have lived it and learned. Whether you think you have it all together, you think you've gone off the deep end or somewhere in between, this book is a must-read for all!
6 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2018
This is a great tool that will go alongside you as you discover what the driving force is behind the need to people please, perform, achieve perfection and cause procrastination. When you read a book that is co-authored by Cheri and Kathi it is as if you are a part of a fun conversation, yet you are gleaning such great words of wisdom.
If you are looking for a way to rebel from the pressure of a trying harder life this is the book you need.
The step by step process that is matched to your personality in all four of the main instigators is one that I, as a now recovering perfectionist, find – perfect.
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 28, 2018
This book is a must if you find yourself pleasing everyone else. I have learned about my personality, strengths and potential weaknesses. These ladies have been there and are willing to share their stories. I ordered the audio book and paperback both. I listen in the car on the way to work and then grab a highlighter and pencil when I get home. They not only help you see where you might struggle, they offer practical advice about how to grow. I have already started rebelling and feel closer to God and the authentic me I was always meant to be.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2018
This is a map out of Life's Maze...built by others, frantically maintained by you. Each chapter states clear goals and breaks each down into manageable steps. Learn to live life your way with no apologies required. There's nothing to lose but the chaos and the pressure of trying to meet others' expectations. Progress, not perfection, gently steers you to greater peace of mind. Highly recommend.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 1, 2018
Lots of things hit home with me during reading this. Discovering what "type" I am as well as how deep I have gotten into the areas that I don't want to be in anymore. I got a better understanding of myself and how to improve my life by actually not trying so hard!
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 12, 2018
Everything these authors write is gold! Their writing is insightful, entertaining and above all, PRACTICAL. Overcome the traps that hold you back from a peaceful, purposeful life. This isn't just feel good or self help, it is transformative, especially for anyone who struggles with feeling like they can never do enough or be enough. Highly recommended!
Customer image
5.0 out of 5 stars Give yourself a break
Reviewed in the United States on September 12, 2018
Everything these authors write is gold! Their writing is insightful, entertaining and above all, PRACTICAL. Overcome the traps that hold you back from a peaceful, purposeful life. This isn't just feel good or self help, it is transformative, especially for anyone who struggles with feeling like they can never do enough or be enough. Highly recommended!
Images in this review
Customer image
Customer image
9 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2019
Having read and loved Lipp and Gregory’s book “The Cure for the Perfect Life” years ago, I was very excited to find another book by the authors that could continue to help me. I paid full price for the book, which I very rarely do, but I was so excited to have it. As I was reading, everything sounded very familiar... way too familiar. I finally found in the publishing information inside, in tiny print, that it’s the exact same book just retitled!! There was no mention on the cover, front or back, or anywhere in the Amazon information that this was the same book. I’m very frustrated to have wasted the money and time on a book I already have sitting on my shelf.
Customer image
1.0 out of 5 stars SAME EXACT BOOK as “Cure for the Perfect Life”
Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2019
Having read and loved Lipp and Gregory’s book “The Cure for the Perfect Life” years ago, I was very excited to find another book by the authors that could continue to help me. I paid full price for the book, which I very rarely do, but I was so excited to have it. As I was reading, everything sounded very familiar... way too familiar. I finally found in the publishing information inside, in tiny print, that it’s the exact same book just retitled!! There was no mention on the cover, front or back, or anywhere in the Amazon information that this was the same book. I’m very frustrated to have wasted the money and time on a book I already have sitting on my shelf.
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13 people found this helpful
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