From the Inside Flap
PREFACE *Disclaimer: For purposes of confidentiality, all names have been changed and minor details of their stories have been omitted to protect the identity of the participants.
It's one thing to try to convince a person about your good ideas based on your own beliefs, but it speaks volumes when you are able to prove that your theories are reliable through the use of experience and examples. I realize how mundane and uninteresting research can be, however, I wanted to provide a realistic, practical view to you, the reader. Thus, before I decided to publicize my good ideas about single parenting to the world, I thought it necessary to put my parenting skills and techniques to the test, to gain some insight, and to conduct visual observations with a focus group. I was honored to receive approval by the administration of a local residential facility for parenting teens and their babies in order to conduct such research. As a method to test my concepts, I structured a focus group comprised of participants at a residential facility for unwed mothers.
The group members, aged 14-20, comprised a diverse population of Latina, Asian, African American, and white participants with their babies. Some were recently involved in prostitution, gang banging, drug use, sale, etc. Although the majority had their babies, two were pregnant, and another did not have custody of her child at the time. They came together as a group, sometimes with their babies, to interface with one another, giving different points of view while discussing their parenting skills. As the moderator, my purpose was to elicit information and to gather several opinions and encourage a debate, as most of them were very strong willed and defensive.
The first day of a weekly six month process, I initiated the discussion by first talking about myself, and then I opened the discussion with a question, "If you could be any celebrity, who would you be?" I allowed them to answer as they continued to size me up. There is much to be learned as a moderator during the quietness as you observe non-verbal body language. Out of nowhere one girl blurted out, "Monique."
I admired that she was able to visualize herself as the comedienne, turned actress "Monique."
They did not realize that I wasn't looking for them to think of the celebrities as being better than they are nor that the goal of becoming a celebrity was not an attainable one, but in the most simplistic way I needed to see how they identified themselves. As I glanced around the room, I saw a group of young ladies who seemed oblivious to taking advantage of the excess time while in the facility, and they didn't seem too anxious about leaving, although they eagerly recounted endearing stories about where they were from and their lives with family and friends. A couple of young ladies appeared to be oddly disconnected, as if they were forced into a situation by no choice of their own. You know, as I think more about my observations, they seem to have no sense of the future, no recognition that hope is on their side, if they'd only reach out and grab it. They are definitely living only in the present, and so the purpose of that first meeting was to communicate with them about their perception of time. I've always felt that every high school should put the "Countdown Clock" on display as students enter the school grounds, just so they can have a visual picture of time and how quickly it's exhausted.
My desire was to communicate and demonstrate to them as single moms that all things are possible, but most importantly we don't have to remain victims or imitate any negative influences from our past that come to haunt us. After all, someone needs to break the cycle. You will find throughout the book our interactions and group discussions, all applicable to the different topics. Towards the conclusion of our meetings, I thought it would be exciting to set up mentoring opportunities for them with professionals in the community, as some have dreams of becoming teachers, judges, and lawyers. However, due to sudden administrative changes at the facility, I was never able to get closure and thank these ladies face to face for their participation. They have always remained in my heart, and I pray that they are leading productive lives with their babies. I hope we'll be able to meet again someday.
From the Back Cover
From the womb to adulthood, this book offers single parent's strategies through real life experiences. Regardless of your social or economic status, or how you became a single parent, whether out of wedlock, divorce, the death of a spouse or a grandparent, you will learn to parent with confidence. A straightforward, witty and practical approach to single parenting.
- Use this systematic approach.
- Reach your goal of effective parenting
- Avoid the stereotypes of being a single parent.
- Obstacles are no excuse for not parenting our children.
- Get the tools you need to raise accountable, successful, respectable children.
Read such topics as:
- DATING
- CHERISHING YOUR CHILDREN DREAMS DEFERRED
- WHEN NO MEANS NO EDUCATION
- DELAY GRATIFICATION
- RAISING GIRLS
- SINGLE MOM RAISING
- BOYS to MEN
- LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX BABY
- CHILD SUPPORT - Don't Take it Personal
- TAKING THE CULTURAL PLUNGE
& much more About the Author
April Gabriellé is an author and speaker in the fields of self-development and spiritual growth. Before she became an advocate for families in her community, she had to overcome some of her own personal battles. Growing up as a foster child, surviving spousal abuse, bankrupted, divisive co-parenting and living with PTSD. As The Single Parent Counselor she is focused on rewriting the narrative and eagerly championing for inner city single parents by focusing on topics as closing the achievement gap, single moms raising boys, daughters without involved fathers, family court, and mental health. This begins with her first book in the series, The Myth of the Broken Home-Guidebook for Single Parents.
A first-generation college student Gabriellé embraces empowerment through knowledge and education. She holds an MA in Human Behavior and graduate studies in Education and Criminal Justice. She is the founder of Consumer Complaint Mediation Service, Put it on Paper Publishing and Family Court Friday.
Gabriellé didn't think twice about sacrificing my career to raise two exceptional young adults.
