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Stop Biting the Tail You're Chasing: Using Buddhist Mind Training to Free Yourself from Painful Emotional Patterns Paperback – Illustrated, July 10, 2018

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 43 ratings

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How to be free from bondage to your emotions: a practical and powerful Buddhist teaching for training the mind to be content in any circumstance.

Are emotions our friends or our enemies? Is it possible to free ourselves from emotional conflict? The Buddhist practice of
lojong is a way of letting go of attachment to both “positive” and “negative” emotions and leads to profound insight and compassion, unbounded by our habitual reactions. This book provides a set of tools that you can apply in daily life to gradually relieve your own suffering and extend that relief to everyone you encounter.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“There is no better way to bring intelligence, sanity, and love into the world than moving away from fixating on the self, and instead, working for the well-being of others.  In Stop Biting the Tail You’re Chasing, Anyen Rinpoche and Allison Choying Zangmo present us with a fresh, insightful, and engaging look at the most essential, practical, and potent instructions on how to do just that—the lojong or mind training teachings. I think you will find this book a great guide on how to move through the world with joy and grace.” —Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel, author of The Logic of Faith and The Power of an Open Question

“The lojong teachings on working with destabilizing emotions are Tibet’s great gift to a world in desperate need of them. In Stop Biting the Tail You’re Chasing we hear the wise and patient voice of Anyen Rinpoche, fully immersed in these teachings as only a Tibetan tulku can be, along with his longtime collaborator, Allison Choying Zangmo, kindly speaking to us about how to apply this wisdom to our contemporary lives. Though the teachings are subtle and profound, this is a simple, accessible, and inspiring discussion. This is a book I will read again and again.”—Norman Fischer, poet, Zen priest, author of Training in Compassion, and co-author of What Is Zen?: Plain Talk for a Beginner’s Mind

Stop Biting the Tail You’re Chasing interweaves timeless wisdom from the greatest masters in Mahayana Buddhism with both Anyen Rinpoche’s and Khandro Allison Choying Zangmo’s own experience and advice, allowing western, English readers the opportunity to access these teachings and apply them directly to their lives. We are grateful to them for these efforts and especially to Rinpoche for dedicating himself to this cause.” —Sangye Khandro, Light of Berotsana, teacher and translator

“This volume is a treasure of profound Buddhist teachings on the trainings of the mind, lojong, that transmute every moment of our lives into true sources of benefit to oneself and others. I pray that we may all put them into practice.”—Tulku Thondup, author of 
The Heart of Unconditional Love   

“By training the mind to recognize the power of emotional attachment, Anyen wishes to show how '[the] root of all unhappiness is self-cherishing.' At the core of self-cherishing is an unhealthy attachment to the hope for permanence and an idea of the self, he writes. Anyen's antidote is threefold: to train the mind to detach emotions from identities and see the former as sources of information, to understand that the nature of everything is empty and illusory, and then to break out of old habitual patterns of emotional and physical behaviors. One is 'fully responsible' for dealing with one's emotions and emotional reactions, he writes, and lojong practice is the way to begin recognizing, applying, and persevering with that responsibility. While Anyen's book may tread familiar ground, it is a skillful, well-structured, and accessible introduction to the practice of lojong that will appeal to novices of Buddhist meditation.”—Publishers Weekly

“Stop Biting the Tail You're Chasing
offers a myriad of mind-training tools for relieving our suffering, extending that relief to those around us, and experiencing and sharing joy.”—Lion's Roar 

About the Author

Anyen Rinpoche is a tulku from Tibet of the Nyingma (Longchen Nyingthig) tradition. He is the author of The Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta, Dying with Confidence, Journey to Certainty, Momentary Buddhism, and with Allison Choying Zangmo, The Tibetan Yoga of Breath. He founded the Orgyen Khamdroling Dharma Center and lives in Denver, Colorado.

Allison Choying Zangmo is Anyen Rinpoche’s spiritual partner, personal translator, and a longtime student of both Rinpoche and his root lama, Kyabje Tsara Dharmakirti. She lives in Denver, Colorado.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Shambhala; Illustrated edition (July 10, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 160 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1611805716
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1611805710
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.48 x 0.44 x 8.49 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 43 ratings

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Allison Choying Zangmo
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Allison Choying Zangmo is a longtime student of Anyen Rinpoche and his root lama, Tsara Dharmakirti. She has been Anyen Rinpoche's personal translator for years, collaborated on all of his books, and is now teaching with Rinpoche and adding her valuable insights about practicing the dharma in the West.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
43 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2018
This book shines a light on our habitual tendencies. Ones that we’ve become so used to that we rarely notice or notice but are helpless to change. Then it offers specific instructions and steps to help release emotions in all aspects of our lives. This advice is based on the experience and teachings of established Buddhist lineage masters and its authenticity rings true throughout the book. The task of mastering the emotions is monumental, but we are given encouragement by the stories shared from the lineage masters’ own lives. Clearly, the authors understand the human condition and all the mind-traps we fall into and due to their obvious great compassion, they offer us a way out. I am reading it through a second time now, taking notes and finding that each time I read it, I discover more that is helpful. The richness of the teachings the authors offer us is significant and potentially life-changing. This is a book to be read, studied and applied consistently throughout our lives. It’s a manual for living life free of self-centered habits that control us and offers us a choice…to live effectively to benefit others. I am so grateful to have this wonderful book to refer back to time and time again.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2018
Whether you are a practicing buddhist or not, it’s fair to say that this book is a deep dive. Although it’s a small book, with a cheerful contemporary title and whimsical cover art, inside it you will find a potent set of pith-instructions in the yogic tradition of Longchenpa.

Anyen Rinpoche and Allison Zangmo are accomplished practitioners and acute observers. They lay bare the reality of our discomfort and pain, the patterns of thought and behavior that are its immediate causes and perpetuating effects, the real possibility of a human condition free from this unnecessary pain, and a proven path of examination and discipline that reveals this freedom. It is rare to find such personal and direct instruction in print!

For those of us who aspire to practice mind-essence teachings, we know that the uncontrived view and meditation are free from attachment, and that lojong is the path that dissolves attachment. But how can we be thorough in our recognition of this self-cherishing, which obscures everything? How can we be confident that we are on the right track?

This book addresses the patterns of emotion with astonishing detail. It provides the questions we must ask ourselves, both to practice comprehensively and to honestly evaluate our experience. This is a treasure of practical instruction!
6 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2018
Wow--I see bits of myself, all the things I am working on (so hard!!!), called out. If you want straightforward advice on how to manage your emotions, reduce stress, and find your happiness successfully, Rinpoche and Allison succinctly point to everything you need to do to make it happen. They see everyday, everywhere they go, how our emotions hinder us and why we are always dissatisfied: if only I had... I want that... I deserve more... when this happens then... In our current state, even when we get what we think we want, the things that "will make us happy"; the happiness is short-lived and we are onto The Next Thing, still chasing the mirage of happiness. We are our own worst enemies until we start working on our practice, and begin turning all that we ever thought on its head.

I will be reading this book multiple times, it is relevant where I am at right now; it will continue to be relevant as I grow. I know I will continue to find sage advice between the pages and it will continue to "push my buttons". It is a great book, and I highly recommend.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2018
I am extremely grateful for these helpful and timely teachings! This book discusses how to work with our emotions in order to experience happiness and contentment, no matter our external circumstances. The authors offer practical instruction on how to temper our emotional reactivity, and outline the benefits of doing so. For example:

"No matter in what situations we find ourselves, when we don't have so many opinions and preferences we naturally experience more peace of mind. We feel more agreeable, more comfortable, and more able to fit in with others. When we are more tolerant, not only do our minds' stability and experience of meditation improve, but the conduct of our body, speech, and mind also improves because we stop being so reactive."

I am already using specific techniques from the book, and I find them very beneficial. This book is a concise road map towards greater peace of mind, one which I highly recommend!
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2018
This is one of the best Buddhist books I have read in a long time. It gives exact instructions on how to decrease anxiety and suffering and how to increase happiness. I was very interested in the way the authors discussed the way that we relate to our emotions as either friends or enemies. It references ancient Buddhist texts and masters, showing that all of the usual ways we try to be happy are actually counterproductive and are the cause of our unhappiness...Though this idea seems difficult to understand, the book clearly details how to understand this, why we do it, and how to stop creating our own suffering so that we can continually increase our peace, joy and engagement in a meaningful life. Thank you to the authors for this book!
8 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2018
Having just finished this book , I am looking forward to returning to it again and again. It is filled with nuggets of wisdom and suggestions that we can put into practice immediately. It is written in a very accessible manner and we feel the warmth and open heart of the authors throughout as they address practical concerns and how to work with them.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 26, 2021
I was looking for best books on the 59 lojong slogans and this was a book about Buddhism and your emotions. A lot of people really liked it, but it wasn't about the topic it claimed to cover.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2018
I love how this book weaves the wisdom of Buddhist masters along with the authors' own wisdom and insight and builds a bridge right into the heart of our daily lives if we will let it. Such lovely truths for dealing with our emotions made accessible to practice and progress towards true happiness, contentment.
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

G.A. de Valk
4.0 out of 5 stars super
Reviewed in the Netherlands on August 21, 2022
I read this book again and again. I am
active in Buddhism/Dzogchen for more than 20 years. Listened, contemplated and practiced a lot. This book gave me many insights on how to deal with my emotions in a vajrayana way. The practicality of the book makes it a must read for anyone on a Buddhist path with a Western upbringing.
User2345
5.0 out of 5 stars I've started applying some of these tools and it is helping me get through some of my painful emotional stuff
Reviewed in Canada on July 25, 2018
This book is a gem! I don't know why, but it feels quite uncommon. In many books I've read, the content had a very intellectual flavor, but this book is different. Not only it is deep and insightful, but you can really feel that the authors are living what they teach about compassion or getting rid of negative patterns. This gives me a lot of confidence in the tools shared in this book. I've started applying some of these tools and it is helping me get through some of my painful emotional stuff. I hope you'll find this book as valuable as I did.
Whalebits
5.0 out of 5 stars Profound yet accessible
Reviewed in Canada on February 2, 2019
Profound yet very accessible teachings. Very helpful as an aid to navigate through the daily, sometimes tumultuous, waters of emotions. I highly recommend reading this book.