Unsteady was a deeply emotional book for me. It touches on an issue near and dear to my heart and I’m going to take a minute and touch on it right now: suicide. Suicidal ideations, to be exact. Micah speaks about how much easier it is to die rather than keep waking up each morning and he is not alone in those thoughts, especially as a veteran. United States veterans commit suicide at a rate of 22 per day, one every 65 minutes, nearly double the rate of civilian suicides. We can’t stand idly by while the people who’ve risked so much for our country are battling a war inside of their own minds. If you know anyone, veteran or not, who is struggling with thoughts of suicide, help them find support.
I loved this book, for so many reasons, the biggest part of which was Micah. His struggles and self-loathing called out to my heart and made me want to just hold him and comfort him until all he could remember was what being loved for exactly who he was felt like. As much as Jude had struggled with accepting who he was and learning to live with the things he’d lost, I always felt like he had a far better handle on how to cope with the struggles he faced. Micah appeared to have everything a person could need for most of his life but once we glimpsed beneath the surface it was painfully obvious everything he had was nothing more than a façade. And to me it is far lonelier, far more upsetting to have those things at your fingertips and not be able to touch them, than it is to know the things you need are no longer available to you.
The flashbacks to Micah and Jude’s time together when they were in high school are what made this book so great, to me. Seeing those struggles, realizations, and heartbreaks first hand, rather than having them recounted in other ways let me understand more the hesitance and fears they experienced in the present day scenes. There were a few more scenes I would have loved to have fleshed out in that way, but I know that I would never be satisfied that I had enough of Micah and Jude. Both of their love stories, past and present, touched me in different ways and I am glad to have been able to experience each of them.
I love M/M, especially when done well, and Melissa did a great job with Unsteady. The vulnerability she demonstrated in both of men, especially Micah made this book for me. There is a fine line to skate between making emotionally charged, vulnerable male characters and still keep them powerful and masculine that makes a M/M romance so special to me, and she definitely did it in Unsteady. I am also impressed with how she dealt with important social issues experienced by both gay men and veterans. If Ms. Collins continues to write with the poignancy and intensity of Unsteady I can only see he rising through the ranks of my must read authors.
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