![Keep Your Life, Family and Career Intact While Living Abroad: What every expat needs to know [Lingua Inglese]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51+mmCF4j1L._SY445_SX342_.jpg)
I lived in The Middle East for 13 years. My husband and I met in Kuwait while teaching at an international school. Three years later we married, (thinking we'd live abroad forever) and five years later we switched to Qatar on my 40th birthday. That's when all heck broke loose.
Yes, the luxury lifestyle abroad was enticing and we both loved it. We especially loved the vacations, having a maid, paid housing, paid flights, and a great salary.
Yet, after 10 years of it, I felt something was missing. It felt sterile and bland. I missed things back home such as birthdays, my Dad's retirement party, and holidays. I think I was closer to my parents though than my husband. I missed nature and community, the seasons, etc.
People change. My values changed from when I left home as originally I sought to pay off college loans, travel, and "see the world." Friends that I made abroad were always leaving for greener pastures and even the international vacations lost their luster. I grew depressed and had grown incredibly homesick. The luxury lifestyle wasn't as important anymore. At times, I felt very invisible and that my life revolved around my husband and work. My friends were from work, I worked out at the gym at work and did a lot of shopping and eating out. I agree with Ms. Tsang-Feign in that I lost my identity. I questioned if this was really who I was anymore.
Ms. Tsang-Feign writes about, "burnout," in her book I agree that burnout "is a signal that something is wrong," but for me, it was more than breaking up routine or taking a vacation to fix it. This was a deeper problem that went right down to the core of me, to my values and my husband's. We were going in two different directions because of it and started wanting different things. We had grown apart and had less and less in common. It was sad really.
My husband always told me, "Jen, you can be happy anywhere. That is on you." I am not sure about that anymore. I think you can for a while but things do change. I never would have thought location to be a deal-breaker for it became one.
After moving to Qatar, I stayed four more years to make sure I was making the right decision and didn't want to be rash. My husband said I could go home, but I knew if I went home our marriage wouldn't survive. I was right. The decision was excruciating, as it was either my marriage or my health (mentally, emotionally, and physically).
After my 13th year, I moved back home to rural upstate New York and my husband choose to stay abroad.
My parents were getting elderly and I was glad to be around nature again and with my old community. While in NY, my husband and I tried a long-distance relationship for a couple of years but ended up divorcing. He now bought a house in the Philippines, is teaching there, and is happy.
Back home again, I began to feel more grounded and started flourishing again. I feel like my old self again.
I think living abroad does have many wonderful advantages and experiences. I changed in many good ways and I don't regret a day. I've become so much more open-minded, appreciative of others (and of my own country), and appreciative of all places I've seen and the people I met. It wasn't an easy decision to return home, but in the end, I was glad I did. My husband and I didn't have kids so I know that made the decision much easier.
Jen
Scarica l'app Kindle gratuita e inizia a leggere immediatamente i libri Kindle sul tuo smartphone, tablet o computer, senza bisogno di un dispositivo Kindle.
Leggi immediatamente sul browser con Kindle per il Web.
Con la fotocamera del cellulare scansiona il codice di seguito e scarica l'app Kindle.
Segui l'autore
Si è verificato un errore. Riprova a effettuare la richiesta più tardi.
Informazioni sull'autore
Segui gli autori per ottenere aggiornamenti sulle nuove uscite, oltre a consigli avanzati.
Le recensioni migliori da altri paesi
Jennifer Benson
Moved Home After 13 Years Abroad
Recensito negli Stati Uniti il 18 novembre 2021John Keating
Great guide to expat problems
Recensito in Canada il 3 novembre 2013
