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Messy Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships Paperback – April 18, 2017

by Christine Hoover (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 322 ratings
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Women long for deep and lasting friendships but often find them challenging to make. The private angst they feel regarding friendship often translates into their own insecurity and isolation. Christine Hoover offers women a fresh, biblical vision for friendship that allows for the messiness of our lives and the realities of our schedules. She shows women

- what's holding them back from developing satisfying friendships
- how to make and deepen friendships
- how to overcome insecurity, self-imposed isolation, and past hurts
- how to embrace the people God has already placed in their lives as potential friends
- and how to revel in the beauty and joy of everyday friendship

With stories of real friendships and guidance drawn from Scripture, Hoover encourages women to intentionally and purposefully invest in one of the most rewarding relationships God has given us.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    240 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Baker Books
  4. Publication date
    April 18, 2017
  5. Dimensions
    5.39 x 0.6 x 8.39 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0801019370
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0801019371
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Friendship is one of God's greatest gifts.
We long for deep and lasting friendships, but they can be challenging to make--and keep. Our expectations of ourselves and our friends can often leave us feeling insecure and isolated. With engaging true stories and guidance drawn from Scripture, Christine Hoover offers a fresh, biblical vision for friendship that allows for the messiness of our lives and the realities of our schedules. She shows you:

- what's holding you back from developing satisfying friendships
- how to make and deepen friendships
- how to overcome insecurity, self-imposed isolation, and past hurts
- how to embrace the people God has already placed in your life as potential friends
- how to revel in the beauty and joy of everyday friendship

"This book will minister to you no matter what season of life you are in and no matter what your current perspective on friendship may be."--Gloria Furman, author of Missional Motherhood and Alive in Him

"Filled with biblical wisdom, practical advice, and compelling personal stories, Messy Beautiful Friendship reminds us exactly why friendship is a gift from God and how we can give and receive it with grace, gratitude, and joy."--Michelle DeRusha, author of Katharina and Martin Luther: The Radical Marriage of a Runaway Nun and a Renegade Monk

"Finally,here is a timely word to women, using God's Word as guidance, on how to do this crazy thing called friendship well."--Sara Hagerty, author of Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet

About the Author

Christine Hoover is a pastor's wife, mom, speaker, and the author of From Good to Grace and The Church Planting Wife. She has written for the Gospel Coalition, For The Church, and Christianity Today. Blogging at GraceCoversMe.com, she enjoys helping women apply the gift of God's grace to their daily lives. Christine lives in Virginia.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Baker Books (April 18, 2017)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0801019370
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0801019371
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.39 x 0.6 x 8.39 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 322 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Christine Hoover

Christine Hoover

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Christine Hoover serves as the Women's Ministry Associate at The Austin Stone Community Church's Northwest congregation in Austin, Texas. She hosts The Ministry Wives Podcast and has authored six books, including Messy Beautiful Friendship and How to Thrive as a Pastor's Wife, as well as a Bible study with Lifeway, Seek First the Kingdom. Her work has been featured on The Gospel Coalition, For The Church, and Christianity Today. Christine is married to Kyle, a pastor, and they have three boys. You can find her at her home online, www.christinehoover.net.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
322 global ratings
" I highly recommend this book
5 Stars
" I highly recommend this book
I've moved four times so far in my adult life and because of this I have had to build new friendships often. This book has been such a helpful read and has opened my eyes to the many ways that my expectations and "wish-dreams" have gotten in the way of friendships that are right in front of me.As Christine says, "My biggest struggles in friendship, whether in loneliness or unmet expectations or hurts, have generally filtered through a belief that I'm entitled to have it in the exact form I want it. The biggest boon to my friendships, however, has been an attitude of receptive thanksgiving for what is right in front of me."I highly recommend this book!! Well written, funny, convicting and encouraging.
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Top reviews from the United States

Kevin Turcios
5.0 out of 5 stars Life Changing
Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2024
Verified Purchase
I’d just like to say, I’m not even half way through this book and it’s changing my life. I grew up enduring lots of trauma and ZERO clue how to cultivate friendships as my divorced parents were basically loners and it was never modeled for me. I’ve encountered countless broken friendships where ghosting was a normal occurrence for both parties. I’m in my mid twenties, married and soon to be moving to a new state with a brand new thriving church community and I want nothing more than to have my “friendship do-over.” So I started with this book and it hits every single thing so dead on. I loveeee the biblical perspective and how it’s all really about God being at the center. Christine is so relatable too, especially bc my husband is on the pastoral track. I’m so grateful for this book.
One person found this helpful
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Wendy M Ryan
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book on Cultivating Friendships!
Reviewed in the United States on August 24, 2023
Verified Purchase
Having just moved to a new city, I wanted to recalibrate my mind to ensure that I start off on the right foot with new friendships. Many women tend to have friendship expectations (Christine refers to them as “wish-dreams”) that often set us up for disappointment. True biblical friendship requires initiative, vulnerability, hospitality, genuine interest in others, speaking the truth in love, among other things. The introspective and prodding questions were really useful in diagnosing places where I struggle and can work on while building my new relationships!
One person found this helpful
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TG
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth the read!
Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2021
Verified Purchase
Great read if you struggle to make friends as a Christian. It was a little bit difficult to get into the book as someone who is a “friend magnet” but glad the author touched on that! It’s definitely and easy read and has ample storytelling so if that’s something you like in a book then you’ll probably like this!
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D
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this book.
Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2023
Verified Purchase
I ordered this book for a ladies study this fall. Read the whole thing and knew this would minister to the ladies. I am very grateful for this book.
One person found this helpful
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Liz and Ryan
5.0 out of 5 stars This is a MUST read for adult women.
Reviewed in the United States on December 18, 2017
Verified Purchase
I cannot recommend this book enough to adult Christian ladies. As a woman in her late 30s, I understand exactly what Christine is addressing in this book. Adult friendship is so challenging! For myself. For many other women I have talked to. This book is so helpful in vocalizing the struggles so many of us know exist but don't always know how to verbalize. She gives excellent advice that is grounded in the Bible. And, I feel she writes in a way that I can totally relate to her. I get her. I don't know if all women will respond that way, but I definitely felt Christine and I could be friends in real life. Highly recommend.
9 people found this helpful
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Beverly
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read on Friendship!
Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2020
Verified Purchase
What an excellent book on friendship! One of my friends recommended it and I’m so glad I listed! It has helped me to really evaluate how I am a friend and what Godly friendship is. Initiating and having lifelong friendships is not always easy, but always worth it! This book has encouraged me to be more intentional, convicted me to be more vulnerable, and pushed me to be more gracious!
2 people found this helpful
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Lexi
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for All Christian Women
Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2017
Verified Purchase
This book is absolutely amazing!! Christine covers almost every aspect of female friendships and does so with solid biblical encouragement all through out. It ministered to me personally as I have been trying to sort through various aspects with other women in my life. She hits on both the joys and challenges of good friendship over and over again.

There are many amazing books for Christian women, but this one truly is a MUST read for all women. Wish I could give a copy to every one of my friends. Loved it and highly recommend it!
3 people found this helpful
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Ana Cecilia Castillo Matamoros
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Read
Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2019
Verified Purchase
This book was an excellent read. I am still revisiting a lot of the points made with in it and honestly it has changed my view on friendship. There is also a series of podcasts based on this book where the author interviews guests who have also written material on friendship. It's a book that keeps on giving.
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Top reviews from other countries

nic
5.0 out of 5 stars She reminds of the sweetness of the gift of friendship and who the Giver of this gift is
Reviewed in Canada on June 25, 2021
Verified Purchase
I’ve thought at different times over the years that even though there are many books on marriage and parenting, there really aren’t many books about friendship. I think friendship is a significant relationship in the Christian life and it’s one that I, and the church as a whole, often don’t navigate well.
In Messy Beautiful Friendship, Christine Hoover does an excellent job of covering all the bases of these truly beautiful and sometimes messy relationships. She speaks of different relationships and circumstances in her own life, and I found myself remembering and thinking of all the gifts of friendship that the Lord has given to me over the years. It also occurred to me that this might be a good book to read along with a friend as it would open up many conversations and allow a friendship to grow through the process. She references the Bible, quotes from C.S. Lewis and Bonhoeffer. She encourages to push through when friendship is hard. She reminds of the sweetness of the gift of friendship and who the Giver of this gift is. It’s certainly worth a read.
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OSouz
5.0 out of 5 stars A must have!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 5, 2021
Verified Purchase
Amazing book! Bought it second hand so has some notes written in it but doesn't affect reading it.
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Rachel
4.0 out of 5 stars Practical
Reviewed in Canada on April 15, 2019
Verified Purchase
Very good book on friendship
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Ginger Tea
5.0 out of 5 stars Great to read with a friend
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 21, 2019
Verified Purchase
Really thought provoking book. Unravels the realities of human relationships, friendships and the human heart
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