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Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too Paperback – April 9, 2012

by Adele Faber (Author), Elaine Mazlish (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 2,673 ratings
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The #1 New York Times best-selling guide to reducing hostility and generating goodwill between siblings.

Already best-selling authors with How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish turned their minds to the battle of the siblings. Parents themselves, they were determined to figure out how to help their children get along. The result was Siblings Without Rivalry. This wise, groundbreaking book gives parents the practical tools they need to cope with conflict, encourage cooperation, reduce competition, and make it possible for children to experience the joys of their special relationship. With humor and understanding―much gained from raising their own children―Faber and Mazlish explain how and when to intervene in fights, provide suggestions on how to help children channel their hostility into creative outlets, and demonstrate how to treat children unequally and still be fair. Updated to incorporate fresh thoughts after years of conducting workshops for parents and professionals, this edition also includes a new afterword.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    288 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    W. W. Norton & Company
  4. Publication date
    April 9, 2012
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0393342212
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0393342215
  8. See all details
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How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (The How To Talk Series)
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Adele Faber, whose books on communication between adults and children have been translated into more than thirty languages, is the award-winning author of the best-selling How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

Elaine Mazlish, whose books on communication between adults and children have been translated into more than thirty languages, is the award-winning author of the best-selling How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ W. W. Norton & Company; Revised edition (April 9, 2012)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0393342212
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0393342215
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 2,673 ratings

About the authors

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  1. Adele Faber

    Adele Faber

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    Adele Faber is an internationally acclaimed, award-winning expert on adult-child communication. She lectures nationwide, and her group workshop programs are used by thousands of groups throughout the world to improve communication between children and adults.

    See more on the author's page
  2. John W. Gardner

    John W. Gardner

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    Discover more of the author’s books, see similar authors, read author blogs and more

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
2,673 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Barbara J. Dixon
5.0 out of 5 stars Motivational for me as a parent and a sibling
Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2024
Verified Purchase
This was an eye-opener. I gave me insight into my family dynamics as a sibling and a daughter and especially as a newer parent. This book will help me to prevent some of the painful mistakes that many parents make unknowingly.
One person found this helpful
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Kerry Parker
5.0 out of 5 stars Great information. Easy read.
Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2023
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This book was very conversational in the writing style and therefore very easy to read and digest the information without being overwhelmed. It had some really helpful tips that I have already started implementing with my two young boys.
2 people found this helpful
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NicoleLynn
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth reading, great basic guide
Reviewed in the United States on August 7, 2014
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I am an only child and I just had my second daughter so I was looking for a general guide of how to handle sibling relationships, especially given that I have no first hand experience. My older daughter is 2 1/2 and my younger is now 8 months. I like the reflection techniques outlined in this book and use them with my toddler even when her sister isn't involved (it sounds like you're upset right now, etc). She has even started coming to me and telling me she feels frustrated or sad/mad. Some of the techniques are definitely more for when the siblings are older, but it helped give me ideas for how to set a basis for how I react to their relationship as siblings as they get older. I would definitely recommend this as a great book to get ideas from even if you don't follow it 100%. I think it is a great guide and I'm sure I will be rereading it as my girls get older and more conflicts begin.
4 people found this helpful
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Christina E
4.0 out of 5 stars and the book is so good that between what I read closely and what I ...
Reviewed in the United States on December 26, 2015
Verified Purchase
I'll be honest- I never read the entire book. I tend to scan books sometimes, and when my kids were little I only really had time to scan. But I did read a large portion of it, and the book is so good that between what I read closely and what I scanned, was enough amazing info to really change how I saw my kids. They are 15 mo apart, boy and girl. They are now 6 and 7, and closer than any twins I've met. They argue somewhat, but they work it out. I rarely intervene. When they were 2-3 I would sit down with them in a fight, give each one their turn to speak, repeat back what they said and by the time we got through that one of them would inevitably shout, "I know, why don't we....." (Usually share, do it together, take turns etc). I noticed after only a few weeks of that, they started resolving their own problems. And I loved the format. Nothing preachy, didn't feel like a parenting "philosophy".
8 people found this helpful
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Stephanie
5.0 out of 5 stars Compassionate parenting advice
Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2017
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I found this book to be full of good ideas -- ideas that I look forward to using without feeling guilty or like I've been doing a terrible job for years. One of the best things about the approach in this series of books is that the approach is compassionate to parents as well to children. The goal is to create a comfortable household and supportive relationships for everyone, so the focus is not on parents changing themselves or sacrificing for their children, but rather on meeting everyone's needs as much as possible. Makes me think the 70s and 80s were a much more enlightened time than we realize!

That said, this book has a more narrative approach than 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.' You will find the same delightfully retro cartoons, but there are fewer lists of skills and more personal perspectives. This is no a downside, just a different way of approaching parenting skills.
7 people found this helpful
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Crystal Sard
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down!
Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2023
Verified Purchase
I HIGHLY recommend this book if your kids are anywhere near mine and constantly bickering and fighting. I read this book I'm just a couple of days. It has a lot of great tips that are easy to implement. I've already started using some of the suggestions, and it has amazed me how it's actually worked to diffuse situations. After I finished, I went through it again to re-read all of the things I highlighted just to refresh myself. I wish I had read this years ago when my kids were little.
12 people found this helpful
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Kate Loughrey
5.0 out of 5 stars Sage, practical advice.
Reviewed in the United States on September 12, 2023
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This book was so helpful when I was raising my two children that I bought a copy to pass on to my daughter who is now a mother herself!
One person found this helpful
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jenni h.
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all gentle parents!!!
Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2016
Verified Purchase
Amazing book! This book is perfect for those who practice gentle parenting. It gives practical advice that gets to the bottom of the actions and gives the child the tool he needs to deal with his feelings appropriately. There are no punishments given out, which I love because while punishments *might* change the behavior temporarily, it doesn't actually fix anything. In one day I started noticing a difference in bahvior with my four boys. Usually when they get mad at each other, they just haul off and hit each other. Now they are talking about how they feel and communicating what they want. Obviously there is still some fighting but its gotten so much better. And the bickering has lessoned as well. I read this all in less than two days and will be rereading it!
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Thomas
5.0 out of 5 stars Good read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 12, 2023
Verified Purchase
Clear steps on how to deal with situations. Plenty of examples and stories given. Looking forward to trying out these techniques
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sumitha75
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book with helpful advice
Reviewed in India on July 4, 2023
Verified Purchase
I tried to follow some of the suggestions in this book and it actually helped.
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Maartje
4.0 out of 5 stars inspirerend boek met handige direct toepasbare voorbeelden
Reviewed in the Netherlands on June 14, 2023
Verified Purchase
leuk boek, vol afwisselende voorbeelden zit die je goed als ouder helpen om in te zien hoe het ook anders kan met weinig moeite. geschreven in vlotte stijl met humor.
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Richard Fernandez
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome book for professionals and parents alike
Reviewed in Germany on August 14, 2022
Verified Purchase
This book is full of great stories and ideas, and is very useful to even those with education or child development backgrounds. Exercises can be tried right away at home. Great way to help clients. Highly recommend.
One person found this helpful
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Marisa
5.0 out of 5 stars WOOOOW
Reviewed in Mexico on September 11, 2018
Verified Purchase
Excelente libro....TOP 3 libro para recomendar a papás con un segundo hijo en camino!!!! Increíble todo lo que presentan y la manera en la que lo hacen. expresa totalmente el sentir de los padres y las soluciones. Muy muy recomendado!!!
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