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What You Left Behind Kindle Edition
It's all Ryden's fault. If he hadn't gotten Meg pregnant, she would have never stopped her chemo treatments and would still be alive. Instead he's failing fatherhood one dirty diaper at a time. And it's not like he's had time to grieve while struggling to care for their infant daughter, start his senior year, and earn the soccer scholarship he needs to go to college.
The one person who makes Ryden feel like his old self is Joni. She's fun and energetic-and doesn't know he has a baby. But the more time they spend together, the harder it becomes to keep his two worlds separate. Finding one of Meg's journals only stirs up old emotions. Ryden's convinced Meg left other notebooks for him to find, some message to help his new life make sense. But how is he going to have a future if he can't let go of the past?
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherSourcebooks Fire
- Publication dateAugust 4, 2015
- Reading age14 - 17 years
- Grade level8 - 12
- File size1435 KB
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Editorial Reviews
From School Library Journal
Review
"Verdi eloquently details the trials and tribulations of being a single teen dad, Ryden's feelings of guilt over Meg's death, and his budding feelings towards Joni. The author weaves a mystery amid the chaos through the uncovering of a series of journals that Meg left for Ryden, her sister Mabel, and best friend Alan. Verdi holds nothing back, shedding a realistic light on Ryden's situation, his decisions, and their very real consequences. His voice is spot-on and doesn't sugarcoat the hard realities that he faces. It isn't often that a book nails the male teen voice as well as Verdi does in this work. VERDICT: An excellent addition to YA collections." -- School Library Journal, Starred Review
Verdi balances her plot elements deftly in a read that could have gone terribly wrong in less sure hands." -- Kirkus Reviews
Teens will be hooked by the premise but will stick with Ryden and his friends in this all-too-real portrait of a modern family." -- Booklist
About the Author
Jessica Verdi lives in Brooklyn, NY, and received her MFA in Writing for Children from The New School. She loves seltzer, Tabasco sauce, TV, vegetarian soup, flip-flops, and her dog. Visit her at www.jessicaverdi.com and follow her on Twitter @jessverdi.
Product details
- ASIN : B00W3WTVMG
- Publisher : Sourcebooks Fire (August 4, 2015)
- Publication date : August 4, 2015
- Language : English
- File size : 1435 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Not Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 370 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,669,012 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Jessica Verdi lives in New York with her family. A graduate of The New School's MFA in Writing for Children program, she is the author of several books for children and teens, including FOLLOW YOUR ARROW, I'M NOT A GIRL, AND SHE WAS, WHAT YOU LEFT BEHIND, THE SUMMER I WASN'T ME, and MY LIFE AFTER NOW. She loves seltzer, hot sauce, TV, vegetarian soup, flip-flops, and all animals. Visit her at www.jessicaverdi.com and follow her on Twitter and Instagram @jessverdi.
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What Meg left behind overshadows Ryden's joy of becoming a father. He will forever live with the guilt of killing Meg by getting her pregnant, and thus forcing her to stop her treatment. He forever live with the guilt of being an inadequate father, as he is struggling to make ends meet while trying to keep up good grades to finally make it into college. But Meg also left behind journals, that Ryden is desperate to find to get some kind of closure. Except instead of closure, all Ryden finds is anger and betrayal.
What I loved about this book:
The depth of the characters
The suspenseful storyline
The heartfelt and tear-threatening emotions
What I felt needed improvement:
Nothing!
What You Left Behind was probably one of the most heartfelt and tear threatening reads that I came across so far in 2015. When I read the plot summary, I knew I had to pre-order this. And gosh, I can't say I was disappointed because this is definitely the kind of read that sticks with you, and that leaves you thinking and wondering way beyond the end of the book.
The plot summary definitely sets the tone of the story and the reader knows exactly what to expect: a teenage-dad who, between changing diapers and managing to get his stuff together for school and college, mourns the loss of his first love and soulmate.
What You Left Behind was written entirely from Ryden's POV - so you get the full idea of what is going on in his head. And while this storyline might sound "lame", it totally isn't. Because circumstances make it that Ryden won't let go of the past even though his daughter, his situation, and the connection he makes with Jodi prompt him to look forward instead of back: he is literally trapped in memories of Meg and in his desire to have closure - even if he still holds himself responsible for killing her by getting her pregnant. Yet, Ryden firmly believes that the journals Meg left behind will provide him the closure he needs.
And on top of dealing with those feelings - the loss and the guilt - he also battles his inadequacy at being a dad. He is convinced that due to the fact that he never had a father, he will never be a good one himself. In the end, all his frustrations radiate off him, along with his denial of fatherhood, and affect his daughter, who senses his distress.
"What if I am literally incapable of being a father to this baby because I have zero concept of what a father really is?"
And all that time, Meg remained this untouchable, holy creature you could almost call a martyr. It is a common thing that when a loved one dies, he or she is being but on a pedestal and granted absolution for every faulty thing they might have done before they left. Even though at the beginning, Meg really appears as if she never did anything to harm anyone.
But as the story progresses - and the journals reveal more and more - the reader gets a different impression of her. I really started to resent her more and more throughout the book. Not because of what she did (since I could relate to her motives) but the way she did it just left me brokenhearted from Ryden. She relieves him of that feeling of guilt he carries around just to give him that feeling back tenfold, but on another subject.
(view spoiler)
The whole book and story was absolutely captivating and Ryden's POV and quest for answers made it a complete pageturner. The discovery of the journals, one by one, make for huge and unexpected twists in the story. The writing was so skillfully executed - taking place in the present, yet allowing the journals to act as revealing flashbacks from the past - that I felt engaged at all times: I wanted to know what happened between Ryden and Meg before she died and gave life to their daughter Hope; I wanted to know how Ryden was going to handle taking care of Hope while succeeding at school; I desperately wanted to know if there were any other journals like he expected there to be (and if so, what they would tell him); and... I wanted to know what the deal was with Joni.
But thankfully, while this book was sad, it was full of strong characters. I liked every single one of the features characters because they were not your usual protagonists: some were peculiar and some were downright anti-heroes. I loved Alan (Meg's best friend), but also Mable and even Ryden's mom. As for Joni, she is both a side and a main character in this story and she was just perfect. A ray of sunshine in Ryden's world.
"How did I not see it from day one? Joni makes everything better. She makes it easy to forget."
I simply loved Ryden. He was the perfect main character. He was down to earth, human, vulnerable, and struggling with very realistic issues. He was perfect through all his imperfections. His evolution throughout the book is tremendous, and I was amazed by how easy it was to relate to him through all the sh*t he's been dealt with, when he really wasn't asking for it.
And, what I loved most about What You Left Behind is that it doesn't end in your usual cookie-cutter happy ending, but rather with a morale that engages the reader to reflect further on this book. It's one of those Young Adult books (it might border a little onto New Adult) which manage to rise above their genre and become meaningful stories and life-lessons. In the end, I guess that one phrase sums up the morale of the book quite well:
"Just because the whys have changed, doesn't mean the whats have."
This basically means that you can always go looking for reasons why, and they might even help you understand how you got where you are now. But chances are you will never be able to get a do-over, and your situation will remain unchanged. And in Ryden's case he will just have to make the best of it because things are what they are.
A nd no matter how angry I was at Meg in the end of the book (and at her frankly appalling and reckless behaviour), I couldn't rate this book any less than 5 full stars, because the way the situation was turned around mattered more than what led to the situation in the first place.
I was disappointed not to get an epilogue though, because it would have been interesting to find out how Ryden put things into perspective with the help of the unexpected Joni; how he got his life straight a few years down the road, and if he finally managed to let go of the past in order to move on.
But all in all, this read was a captivating masterpiece I would highly recommend you check out. It's like a wonderful reunion of The Fault in Our Stars and a healthy dose of Colleen Hoover, with it's own Jessica Verdi signature style.
This book was addictive, but it was also emotional torture. Ryden is going through so much: grief from losing his girlfriend, being a new single teen father, having to give up so much, and the belief he was responsible for his girlfriend's death. It was a lot to take in -- especially because Ryden wasn't handling it very well. He has the idea that Meg's journals and finding his long lost father will help him become the father he should be. I felt for him, but he drove me up the wall. What he really needed was someone to give it to him straight. I know he was trying to avoid just that, but his delusions made me mad and sad.
Meg wasn't alive in this book, but her presence was felt through her journals and Ryden's memories. The memories were sweet and made me love Ryden and Meg together, but the reality the journal gave made those memories bittersweet. Some of the revelations made me upset with Meg. I didn't leave this book with happy feelings about the decisions she made.
There were other characters in this book that helped make this story the great read it was along with Ryden and Meg. Ryden's mom was an amazing lady. Alan was a great friend. Meg's younger sister was a great addition. I had some so-so feelings about Joni, but her character served an important role and I actually loved what she said in the end. Two characters I didn't love were Meg's parents. There were several reasons, but I wish their had been some sort of arc involving them.
Overall, What You Left Behind was an impactful read. It's one I'm going to be thinking of for a long time to come. I didn't always love it, but I feel like it's a book teenagers should read. The truths Ryden faced about having a baby in high school are very real.